Vegans should go cat-free

Is it ethical for vegans to own cats? It’s an interesting question because vegans look set to take over — there are more than 3.5 million now, up from 500,000 in 2016, and a fifth of us say we’d eat less meat if only we could be bothered. Veganism is the life-style choice for the thoughtful and planet-conscious. The only thing more 21st century than veganism is cats.

Cat ownership in the UK is growing at almost as impressive a rate. A quarter of all British adults have cats. There are 11 million of the sinuous little horrors weaving in and out of our homes. More Brits own cats than dogs, which is depressing.

That vegans are often cat owners is a no- brainer. Even if you know nothing about the booming market for vegan cat food or the T-shirts that say ‘Go Vegan Meow’, it’s somehow obvious. Vegans and cats just go together. Both my vegan friends have cats. But does it make sense for vegans to own cats? No, it absolutely does not. It’s demented. I find it fascinating that some of the most concerned and consciously moral people on the planet are also among the most deluded.

Most of Britain’s cats are outdoor cats because their owners want what’s best for them. And they’re right — it is cruel to keep natural-born predators indoors, however many scratching posts you lay on. It leads to stress and obesity, says the RSPCA. As with kids, so with cats, I suppose. But an outdoor cat is a psychotic death machine. Those boneless fur balls you see draped on garden walls in the morning, yawning and snake-toothed? They spent dawn decapitating baby robins. Instagram that. Cats in this country kill more than 250 million small mammals a year — and some 11 million songbirds.