I have always marvelled at the attitude of cat owners who point to bloodied arms or dramatic scratches and explain – with docile, almost apologetic acceptance – that Jasper or Bella just got a bit annoyed. It was all the human’s fault for patting them in the first place. Violent animals are a form of domestic abuser and should be treated as such. Why would anyone allow something to attack them – or their children – rather than simply removing the animal from their home?
Sure, they are unlikely to maul you to death, unlike the technically banned XL Bullys, but it’s a different story for wildlife. Domestic cats, the wily rotters, are thought to kill around 270 million birds, mammals and reptiles per year across the UK. They’re the nukes of the animal kingdom.
Which is why I looked approvingly on recent Scottish conversations about curbing feline freedoms, and thus punishing these nasty creatures in order to preserve native wildlife. Earlier this month, the Scottish Animal Welfare Commission (SAWC) suggested ‘compulsory containment’ of cats in certain areas, along with possible restrictions on allowing new cats into households in certain ‘vulnerable areas’.
In my view, the SAWC recommendations don’t go nearly far enough in curbing the shocking antics of these loutish and numerous creatures. But alas, the Scottish government was quick to say that while it would ‘fully consider the recommendations’ there was no way on earth that cats would be banned anywhere in Scotland. ‘We have absolutely no intention of banning cats,’ First Minister John Swinney told BBC Scotland. ‘There’s no way that’s going to happen.’ Not even a curfew for cats? ‘I’m giving you a very clear statement,’ he snapped. ‘We’re not going to do that.’
It’s hard to consider cats without reference to dogs. Both animals share a common ancestor, the Carnivora. But the Carnivora split into two distinct groups – one doggy, one catty – about 43 million years ago. The former was first domesticated up to 41,000 years ago by early people in Eurasia. Cat domestication came much later, with felines popular in the Egyptian dynasties, but not really picking up till the Middle Ages.
To those who value straightforwardness, appreciation and cuddles, it’s got to be man’s best friend, rather than the skulking, disobedient destroyer of mice, skin and carpets.
Dogs and cats certainly do represent opposite poles, and thus competing, sometimes clashing, personality types – I often think that you know all you need to about cat lovers from their adoration of those scary, unlovable fluff balls. These people like to be treated mean: it keeps them keen. They don’t look for appreciation, warmth or dependence – all of which I do (the latter, admittedly, only in a baby or a pet). Which suggests they may be cold, haughty, opaque and scheming sorts themselves. At the very least, they will be difficult to date.
A lover of a cute and fuzzy Lab or Retriever, however, is responding to something far more vivid, devoted and childlike. A dog can be a real friend; a cat is merely a chimera – sometimes intimate, usually more committed to maiming and killing other innocent creatures.
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