What fun it will be if Trump becomes president

I suppose spite and schadenfreude are thinnish reasons, intellectually, for wishing Donald Trump to become the next American president (and preferably with Sarah Palin, or someone similarly doolally, as veep). But they are also atavistically compelling reasons nonetheless. Think of the awful, awful people who would be outraged and offended.

If you recall, 8 May last year was awash with the bitter tears of lefties who couldn’t believe the British people had been so stupid as to elect a Conservative government. There were the usual hilarious temper tantrums and hissy fits. Typical of these was an idiotic college lecturer called Rebecca Roache who loftily announced that she had gone through all of her Facebook contacts and ‘unfriended’ any who might be Conservatives for their ‘abhorrent views’. But there were thousands of others, besides Becca, stamping their little feet and daubing ‘Tory scum’ on war memorials. One columnist said she kept breaking down and weeping, unable to believe how thick or vile the electorate must be. Oh, how we laughed. If Trump wins, it will be like that, times ten. It will be Trumpageddon for all the worst people in the country.

The BBC, for example, will not be happy. There will be a markedly different mood within the corporation this election night to the one we witnessed in 2008, when the studios were awash with ejaculate and we viewers were all forced to endure a relentlessly celebratory Obamathon, utterly devoid of anything even approaching impartiality: how wonderful of the Americans to elect him and what a marvellous, marvellous little black man he is! They will be instead grim-faced with incomprehension and antipathy.

I doubt too that President Trump will be bunged a Nobel peace prize within a few months of taking office — because his electoral success will offend all the metro–liberals in the world and they will all start talking about the patent legitimacy of taking ‘direct action’, which is the only recourse when a population proves itself to be so dumb in the polling booth.