Rod Liddle

What to do if a fox attacks your children

What to do if a fox attacks your children
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I wonder what sort of animal it was that attacked the twin baby daughters of Nick and Pauline Koupparis in Hackney, East London? The Koupparis’s are insistent that it was a fox, but its behaviour sounds more like a wolf or even, perhaps, a basilisk, although there are no previous reports of basilisks in that area. Given the location it would not surprise me if it was actually Diane Abbott, dressed up as some sort of beast and stealing into constituents’ homes in the dark of night and biting their children.

Whatever it was, it did not budge when Nick Koupparis “lunged” four times at it. I suppose it could have been a mentally ill fox, a fox with grave delusions. One of the little girls is still in intensive care; one wishes them a speedy and full recovery, obviously. The explanation for how the creature got into the house is that it was a hot day and Nick and Pauline left the patio doors open. I have to say if I lived in Hackney I don’t think I would ever open my patio doors and if I did a fox would be the least of my worries, but that’s just me.

There has been some schadenfreude from the pro Countryside Alliance people living in our rural towns and villages. Foxes, see, we told you. But you wouldn’t listen. And though I supported the fox hunting ban (and still do) I can’t say I blame them; the furore which greeted this story has the whiff of hypocrisy about it. The townies meanwhile have insisted that the filthy, skulking urban fox is a very different creature from its bushy tailed bright-eyed country cousin. No it isn’t. It’s exactly the same.

Today The Guardian has a cut out and keep guide to deterring urban foxes from eating your children, including cementing in the basement of your garden shed, infra-red warning devices and giant blow up Polly Toynbee dolls that can be placed around the garden to terrify any approaching foxes.