WhatsApp collapse throws Tory plots into chaos

WhatsApp collapse throws Tory plots into chaos
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The world’s oldest democratic party has had a few problems with technology in recent years. Famously it was the 2018 Tory conference which saw a security breach where the official party app allowed anyone to access the private phone numbers of members of the Cabinet – or in the case of Boris Johnson change his profile picture to that of a pig.

Once again, tech issues are plaguing Tory conference, with three of the world’s most popular apps – Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp – all being offline since 4:30 p.m. today. The last of these is the favoured platform for disloyal backbenchers and scheming hacks to conspire mischievously to make life harder for long-suffering Tory whips. One MP moaned to Mr S that going offline had forced him to encounter more of his constituency members than he otherwise would have liked, while another was spotted remonstrating with Midlands staff prior to being politely informed that the hotel Wifi was not the issue at fault.

Still, the tech blackout is not just good news for CCHQ party managers. One well known figure in the broadcasting world is notorious for sending messages to young female rising stars via Instagram. At least they will be spared a night of incessant ‘fire react’ emojis thanks to the collapse of Facebook’s platform today.