Yesterday saw the annual Commons vs. Lords Tug of War, in aid of Macmillan and sponsored by BAE. Battle was joined at Westminster College Gardens, behind the cloisters of Westminster Abbey. Teams of marines, fireman, hacks and staffers battled it out before the final show down between the elected and the unelected. Disappointingly for the aristocracy, the commoners bagged it.
Champagne and the dulcet tones of TV’s James Landale kept the crowd entertained. Speaker Bercow, defence minister Gerald Howarth and education minister Tim Loughton cheered on their colleagues, while Labour’s Lord Foulkes and Sharon Hodgson became well acquainted with the bar. Tory backwoodsmen Alec Shelbrooke, the loud Yorkshire MP, was temporarily elevated to the peerage due to a shortage of genuine ermine. He warmed to his new status. ‘Well, my seat has been abolished,’ he roared. The bookies were caught out by a shock victory for an unlikely team from Total Politics, who triumphed against a mass of bloggers, journos and lobbyists.
The world outside the garden wall eventually intruded as the infamous roaming producer Gobby, aka Paul Lambert of the BBC, came in search of an angry Tory to condemn the latest Liberal Democrat outrage. Mr Steerpike sent him in the direction of the champagne bar.
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