Why are there so many fat people in pictures of food banks?

Were you aware that the famous actor Andy Garcia was born with a foetus growing out of his left shoulder? It was removed from him when he was a toddler. I had not known this and I am unhappy that some sort of conspiracy, some wall of silence, was constructed to keep this news from the paying public. I watched The Untouchables in blissful ignorance of the fact; had I known I would have picketed the cinema. Come clean about the dead foetus, Garcia! I am aware of the foetus business now only because I stumbled across an excellent website entitled ‘25 Celebrities With Hideous Physical Deformities’, and Garcia was there at number six. Another actor, Jennifer Garner, was in the top ten on account of her ‘mangled toes’, which she has cunningly shielded from the public all these years. The bad toes were the consequence of a nasty condition called brachymetatarsia, apparently. And the singer Kesha has a tail. Surely this sort of stuff should have been made public before? These people are happy to bask in mass public adoration — but would that adoration have been forthcoming if we had known all along that they were monsters? I doubt it very much.

I found the site during my early morning trawl of the internet looking for people less fortunate than myself. I find it difficult to start the day without a good gloat — just ten minutes or so to get the juices flowing. I had actually tapped in to my search engine: ‘Photographs of people getting stuff from food banks’, which I was sure would cheer me up for a while. But, strangely, there are very few such shots available. There are plenty of photographs of do-gooders handing out crates of food, smiling beatifically and with halos around their heads, but very few of the actual customers.