Why do politicians try to convince us they are normal human beings? We know they’re not

I suppose we’re going to have to suffer these confections until the first week of May. But it’s beginning to get my goat. First we had Ed Miliband trying to pretend he was a normal human being. Inviting a camera crew into his house. Ed posing in one of his many kitchens, looking about as comfortable as a man with an enraged porcupine sellotaped to his scrotal sac.

Now the Prime Minister is doing the same thing. David Cameron in a scruffy T-shirt preparing sardines on toast for his missus. Yep, just like he does every day. All for the benefit of the media and to convince us, ahead of the election, that they live a bit like we do. Please give it a rest. We know you’re politicians and hail from a strange, distant, planet characterised by affluence and a kind of sociopathy. So stop pretending you’re us. Just tell us how you intend to completely wreck the country and in May we’ll make up our minds who we loathe least.