Camilla Swift

Why the John Lewis Christmas advert is a mess

Why the John Lewis Christmas advert is a mess
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It used to be the Coca Cola advert that signalled Christmas was on its way. Holidays were coming, and Coke would deliver joy to the world. These days, it’s the John Lewis advertisement that everyone looks forward to. There’s a running theme to these Christmas adverts. A schmaltzy song, a sickly sweet storyline (often with a few animals thrown in, just to make it that bit sweeter), and a happy, Christmassy ending. Hurrah!! This year’s, which was released today, is no different.

Personally, though, I’d say that whoever came up with this advert needs a serious dose of reality – and quick. Of course it’s a lovely image; the bright-eyed, bushy-tailed foxes; the snuffly little hedgehog; the big galumphing badger and the ­– well, the less said about the squirrel the better, as they didn’t even use a red squirrel – all bouncing together joyfully on a trampoline. How festive!

But wait a second. I mean, first of all, I wouldn’t want to be in charge of either that child or Buster the Boxer when they come running back into the house. Have you ever had to wash off a dog who’s taken great joy in rolling in fox poo? It’s not much fun, I can assure you.

It isn’t just the poo though. I’ve been trying to work out who’d come out best from this bouncing spree, and I reckon it’s the badger. Hedgehogs and badgers aren’t the best of friends anyway, so pop them on a trampoline together and the hedgehog would be toast in no time. The squirrel wouldn’t be there in the first place, since they sleep at night, which leaves two foxes and one badger. I’d put my bets on the badger coming out on top, but it wouldn’t be a pretty scene, that’s for sure. 

It’s a nice idea, and I really do feel for Buster the Boxer, who can’t join his animal friends on the trampoline and has to wait until morning. But although it saddens me to burst the Christmas bubble, I have to say, Buster – I think you’re better off steering well clear of that trampoline.