The blessed Nicola has been out on the campaign trail in recent days, spreading the good news and decrying that wicked Boris Johnson’s non-believing band of heretic Tories. The bad king’s woes down in London have proved a godsend to Saint Nicola the nationalist, ever eager to lead her people to that land of milk and honey otherwise known as an independent Scotland. Naturally the sinless Sturgeon was among the first to call for Johnson to quit over partygate, preaching how ‘basic decency’ meant he should go for breaking lockdown rules.
‘But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!’ For just four days after demanding the heathen Johnson go, it seems the good queen Nic also defied the holy laws of Covid herself. For the faultless First Minister has now been reported to police after being filmed apparently breaching Scotland’s face mask rules. Footage on social media shows her without a mask in an East Kilbride barber shop, while on an election campaign trail visit.
Naturally, the saintly Sturgeon posted footage of the visit on her own Instagram account with her mask still on. It has been legally required for people to wear face coverings in many indoor settings in Scotland until today, when the law becomes guidance after 647 days. A Police Scotland spokesperson said: ‘We can confirm that we have received a complaint which is currently being assessed.’ All of this means that the high priestess of Covid could herself be fined for a breach of lockdown laws, just days after insisting that Boris Johnson must resign for doing similar.
‘Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.’ Or from the voters at the polls, eh Nicola?
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