Marcus Berkmann

Wonderwall is the worst song ever written

Oasis are tuneless rip-off merchants

  • From Spectator Life
(Big Brother Records)

It could be said that the last thing we need now is an Oasis reunion. I read somewhere that there are 56 conflicts in the world at the moment, and that doesn’t count what would surely happen if you put the Gallagher brothers in the same room. Siblings have a poor history in rock ’n’ roll – one immediately thinks of John and Tom Fogerty of Creedence Clearwater Revival, who didn’t talk for the last 20 years of Tom’s life, or Ray and Dave Davies of the Kinks. In 1971, Ray and Dave were dining in Manhattan. Dave tried to steal one of Ray’s French fries. Ray stabbed his brother in the chest with a fork. At Dave’s 50th birthday, Ray stamped on his cake.

After that, it goes on for another week or so, meaningless, tuneless, a demonstration of how bad pop music can be when it puts its mind to it

Noel Gallagher is the older, marginally more intelligent brother, who wrote all the early songs and once described his dimwitted younger brother Liam as ‘a man with a fork in a world of soup’.

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