World Cup diary: Here’s why we need Wayne Rooney…

Greg Dyke was right with that throat-slitting gesture, when England’s world cup group was announced. Seeing the quality in some of the other groups gives you an indication of how much harder we have it. Which isn’t to say we’d have breezed through, mind. But I suspect we would have beaten Russia and South Korea, who played like two mid table Championship sides. Which is pretty much what the Koreans are, really. Incidentally, my wife remarked of the Koreans, as the teams lined up, “they’re not lookers, are they?”

So: tomorrow. What do we do with Mr Potato Head? Put him in the centre or leave him out altogether? I’m tending towards the latter, given his fairly awful performance against Italy. But then, he did provide the killer pass for our only goal. Whereas Gerrard’s passing was abysmal. Dan Hodges believes we’re trapped in a narrative (ahem) which reveres Gerrard and loathes Rooney. I’m not sure there isn’t some truth in that. Anyway, we need someone to kick Suarez hard, on his bad knee, in the fourth minute.