Deborah Ross

You’ve lost me

J.K. Rowling’s plots are now so labyrinthine she makes your average John le Carré look like Noddy

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald is the sequel to the Harry Potter prequel Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, and either J.K. Rowling’s plots are now so labyrinthine she makes your average John le Carré look like Noddy, or I failed to put in sufficient homework, or it’s a plain mess. Whichever, I hadn’t a clue what was happening most of the time.

I like the whole Potter industry well enough, but I can’t say I’m a superfan. I don’t even have an opinion on whether Dumbledore is gay or not, which is the surest sign of non-superfandom. But while a film should cater to those in the know, it should also be open to all, surely. Or maybe it’s like the Pirates of the Caribbean or Bond franchises, and coherence just doesn’t matter any more?

I did do some homework in that I watched the first film. It is set in the 1920s, before Harry has even been born, so there’s none of the usual crew, although I don’t think this film sucks because Ron Weasley isn’t in it. Our hero is now Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne), a ‘magizoologist’ who carries a bottomless suitcase filled with fantastical beasts. I did love the beasts, and would give anything to own a Murtlap. (Very cute, even if it does bite.) Directed by David Yates with a screenplay by Rowling, this film takes off where that film left off so it’s essentially Newt’s continuing battle against Grindelwald the dark wizard, played by Johnny Depp with one opaque, red-rimmed eye although that may be the least of his problems these days.

This is mostly set in Paris, for no good reason, with occasional cuts to Hogwarts and Jude Law as a younger Dumbledore, now so stylish he looks as if he’s stepped out of a menswear spread in GQ.

Already a subscriber? Log in

Keep reading with a free trial

Subscribe and get your first month of online and app access for free. After that it’s just £1 a week.

There’s no commitment, you can cancel any time.

Or

Unlock more articles

REGISTER

Comments

Don't miss out

Join the conversation with other Spectator readers. Subscribe to leave a comment.

Already a subscriber? Log in