Dear Mary…
Q. Pyjama gape or not, aprons should not be worn by a gentleman. The pyjama gape correspondence originated in Aldeburgh and the solution lies no further away than nearby Leiston, where the renowned Volga Linen Company (www.volgalinen.co.uk, 01728 635020) has among its sublime products linen pyjamas whose tops reach the knees, which I imagine should be sufficient for most wearers.
P.J., by email
A. Thank you for alerting readers to this possibility. Clicking on to the website, one can see these smart/cosy 100 per cent linen pyjamas. They are Indian in style, the colours on offer are white, natural, woad and indigo and they cost £112. The top does indeed reach the knee which, as you point out, should offer a gentleman’s private parts sufficient protection from visual intrusion as he goes about his business of preparing informal breakfasts for house guests. Indeed the trousers do not even offer the opportunity of inadvertent flashing while seated with the top rucked up. The waistline is elasticated so there is no fly area to gape.
Q. Every year my grammar school hosts its prize evening in September, and invites a local figure to make presentations and give a speech. As head boy I am asked to say a brief word of thanks. However, I have recently learnt that the guest in question is the local MP, not only a smug Blairite clone but also a professed opponent of the grammar system. To what extent is it acceptable to ridicule such a stance, and indeed his behaviour in accepting the invitation?
H.B., Kent
A. You must let the Blairite damn himself out of his own mouth. This will happen if you insist on giving your vote of thanks before this MP makes his own speech rather than after it.
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