Your Problems Solved | 2 July 2005

Dear Mary…

Q. My student stepson from my recent

re-marriage and I are very different people. His mother worries that our relationship will suffer if I am too unkind to the boy, but he drives her crackers too! We have an excellent Italian restaurant locally which does a varied, fixed price, early-evening menu. Every time he joins us there, he asks to have the one dish which attracts a supplement, whatever the choices. I am never sure whether this is an immature belief that most expensive is best, or a challenge of some kind. I am unwilling to fall out with my wife or even the boy irretrievably over £2 or £3, but if there were a way to affect this behaviour without lasting damage, I would appreciate your creative input.
C.W., Glasgow

A. Next time you plan to patronise this restaurant, make a private visit a couple of hours beforehand so as to book a table and collude with the waiter who will serve you. Pressing a tenner into his hand, explain that you would like his diplomatic assistance in solving a little family problem. Later, taking orders, the waiter can pretend to be of ebullient character and, turning to your stepson, say teasingly, ‘Now Sir. I done need to aska you. I notice you always like the most expensive dish every tima you comea. Why is that, Sir? Don’ta you trust us to makea alla the dishes agooda?’ The three of you can then wait silently for your stepson to splutter out a reply.

Q. Close friends who have just bought a farmhouse in the South of France have recently been burgled. The problem is that the majority of things stolen were wedding presents and they have been asked by their insurance company to prepare a list of missing items together with their values.