Q. I would welcome your advice. I called a friend on her mobile telephone to ask her for some information and, although she was driving, she answered the call. A vigilant police officer noticed that she was breaking the law and pulled her over to reprimand her and issue a £30 fine. She called me later to complain that I was the cause of her humiliation and implied that I should offer to pay her fine. I asked her why she had answered the call while she was driving, but this did not seem to cut any ice with her. How do I make peace?
Name and address withheld
A. There are two explanations for your friend’s illogical behaviour. The first, she has a low intelligence quotient. The second, she is nursing a secret grudge against you over another matter. Money is often used as an excuse to pick a quarrel. Go and see your friend and look her squarely in the eye. Then say, in kindly tones, ‘I will pay your fine, but will you promise, in return, to sit down and think and then tell me what all this is really about?’
Q. We were invited by the son of an old friend to celebrate his 50th birthday at a party at his house. It was a ‘landmark’ birthday, so we took a bottle of very old and very expensive brandy as our gift. Although we didn’t know many people there, we had a very pleasant time and left after a couple of hours or so. We see him only once or twice a year and our problem is we haven’t received any acknowledgement of our gift.
Our questions are: (a) did he actually receive the bottle? (It was a very big party!) (b) was it ‘mislaid’? (c) is he just forgetful? We can’t possibly inquire and we don’t see him often enough to make a casual inquiry.
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