Dear Mary…
Q. My husband and I were guests at a five-day house party in Scotland. Most of the other guests were heavy drinkers and on the first night one of them actually entered our bedroom in the middle of the night and got into our double bed with us. Neither of us slept well after this because there was no lock on the door and we were on tenterhooks every night in case there should be a repeat incident. Everyone parted on the best of terms and we did enjoy the holiday, but we returned from it shattered. We are soon to go for a weekend with a similar cast of characters and do not wish to become phobic, but feel it would be uncool were we to move furniture in our room so as to form a blockade at the door. How can we discourage nocturnal incursions?
W.W. and D.W., London SW3
A. There is no need to adopt any elaborate strategy. Simply prepare for the weekend by visiting your local hardware store, where you can buy, for minimal outlay, a small selection of rubber doorwedges of varying sizes. Doorwedges are just as efficient at keeping doors shut as they are at propping them open. Secure in the knowledge that you will not be taken by surprise should someone try to enter your room in the night, you will be able to maximise the social opportunities of the weekend in relaxed manner.
Q. I always try to travel by budget airlines because I adore guiltlessly spending the saving on clothes. In my experience the budget airlines are just as reliable regarding time-keeping and I buy my own Pret A Manger food at the airport. My only carp is the first-come, first-served seating arrangements. The last two times I travelled I had obese people next to me which gave me a sense of claustrophobia. How can I get around this problem?
S.T., Devizes
A. When you sit down, get the sick bag out of the pouch in front of you. Hold it with your left hand in the seat next to you as though for imminent use. Wear sunglasses. Recline listlessly. If you see nice people filing towards you, move the bag swiftly away.
Q. My wife and I are nearing an anniversary of our wedding, which in our circle is usually marked by a champagne reception. We have many friends living locally whom we would like to invite. However, we feel that this is an occasion to which we must invite relatives. Our problem is that one of them cannot resist making himself the centre of attention and has embarrassed guests at such events as family weddings. How might we go about holding the party without him, even though he will almost certainly learn of it?
D.S., Beaconsfield, Bucks.
A. Do not issue printed invitations. Instead enlist the help of a sympathetic local friend who can ring all your relations and ask each one of them individually, telling them she is organising a surprise party for you. When this troublesome relation finds out about it and realises he has been excluded, you can then lay the blame at the door of the friend, saying, ‘Oh dear. I know what must have happened. She probably didn’t invite you because she has heard what a big personality you are and thought you might upstage us on our big day.’
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