Mary Killen Mary Killen

Your Problems Solved | 8 May 2004

Etiquette advice from The Spectator's Miss Manners

Dear Mary….

Q. A friend who invited me to stay for a few days in France has told me I can get a lift in the plane of one of the other guests. I am a nervous flyer at the best of times and particularly nervous at the thought that the plane-owner, whom I do not know well but who has an aura of recklessness about him, might be at the wheel. How can I delicately find out whether it will be he or a proper pilot with braid on his shoulders? Should the former be the case and my destiny be in the hands of the plane’s owner, I would rather go No Frills but No Kills.
K.L., Wantage, Oxfordshire

A. Ring up the hospitable plane-owner to thank him for his offer and to get details of departure times, et cetera. Then say, ‘Congratulations! I didn’t know you had a pilot’s licence!’ He may well reply, ‘Oh, I won’t be flying myself. We’ll have a couple of pilots taking us down there.’ If he confirms your worst suspicions, ring back an hour later to announce that sadly you have looked at your diary and will have to travel separately.

Q. My husband has developed an appalling new habit in which he bares his teeth. It started as a joke — we all screamed because he looked so hideous; now it has almost turned into an involuntary facial tic. When other people are present, for example at dinner parties, how can I remind him that he is pulling this awful face without turning myself into a bit of a shrew?
M.W., Wiltshire

A. Take a close-up of your husband’s face while he is baring his teeth, then nip along to Boots with it.

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