Coffee Shots: You’re pulling my Clegg
What were David Cameron, Nick Clegg and Ed Miliband chortling about at Buckingham Palace this week, Mr Steerpike wonders?
Politics
Read about the latest UK political news, views and analysis.
Friday
Thursday
Pippa Middleton’s diary: What are you scared of, Boris?
Ah, good old Wimbledon: a fortnight of rhythmic ball thumping, ooh-ing at Federer’s forehand, aah-ing at Djoko the elastic athlete, and praying against common sense for good weather and British success. Some foreigners can be sniffy about Wimbledon’s particular charms — all that Union Jack patriotism, excitement over strawberries and cream and English eccentricity. ‘Grass is for cows,’ said the Argentinian Guillermo Vilas, famously, a line still repeated by some Latin players who can’t handle the low bounce and quick pace of the green stuff. Well, moo to them. Wimbers is tennis at its best, the grandest of all slams, which is why I like to go every year, at least
Spending Review: Has George Osborne’s caution condemned Britain to a lost decade?
The Labour party used to joke that the Tories would act as their cleaners: win, take the political pain, abolish the deficit by 2015 and then hand over a balanced budget when they lost the election. George Osborne has, at the very least, put paid to that. His Spending Review this week made it clear how painfully little progress is being made. Whoever wins the next election could close every school, open every prison, cede Northern Ireland, close every embassy and sack every soldier, sailor and airman — and it would still not be enough to put the government back in the black. Britain is a terrifyingly long way from fiscal sanity.
A gross double standard over hate speech
According to the Home Office if you are a non-Muslim and you make the following statement your presence will be deemed ‘not conducive to the public good’ and you will be barred from entering the United Kingdom: ‘It [Islam] is a religion and a belief system that mandates warfare against unbelievers for the purpose for establishing a societal model that is absolutely incompatible with Western society. Because of media and general government unwillingness to face the sources of Islamic terrorism these things remain largely unknown.’ If, on the other hand, you are a Muslim and you say the following then the UK government has no problem with you, and you
The Tories can’t attack Labour without undercutting their own arguments
One thing that was noticeably absent yesterday was Tory crowing about Labour having signed up to the coalition’s current spending plans. Instead, George Osborne’s response to Balls concentrated on whether Labour would borrow more. Given the Osborne-Balls relationship, you might have thought that the Chancellor would have relished the idea that Balls had been forced into an intellectual surrender. But the Tory leadership is acutely aware that going on about Labour having accepted their spending limits undercuts their argument that it is the same old Labour party, addicted to spending and borrowing. So instead they’ve chosen to argue that Labour’s pledges of fiscal rectitude simply aren’t credible. The Tories faced a
Coffee Shots: any pickle with that, minister?
Eric Pickles is a very popular figure around Westminster. This picture explains why. It is also 1,000 times funnier than the knackered ‘Eric Pickles is a fat northerner’ jokes that some of his witless cabinet colleagues crack on a habitual basis.
Finding Farage
The old boys of Dulwich College have closed ranks, if their online presence is anything to go by. I hear that super-sleuth Michael Crick has been digging into the past of Ukip leader Nigel Farage. The pinstriped soak’s old girlfriends and early career in the city are of interest to Crick, but his main focus is Farage’s school days. Channel Four’s top detective has found the College’s Friends Reunited page, and sneakily posted: ‘Does anyone have interesting memories of Nigel Farage? He was at Dulwich College from 1974-82?’ Six weeks on, there have been no responses.
Beaten by a Byron Burger
In the battle for the media’s attention Danny Alexander’s infrastructure statement is losing out rather badly to George Osborne’s choice of burger — a more easily digestible subject than the specifics of the government guarantee for a new nuclear power station. When he was asked about it on the Today Programme, Osborne seemed rather baffled by the amount of interest the tweet had generated. But what I was struck by was Osborne’s explanation for why he was on Twitter in the first place. He said that one of the challenges for politicians is that the public only ever see them when they’re on TV or in the Commons. He continued
Audio: Ed Balls peddles myths. Again
Poor old Ed Balls. His economic policy seems to be imploding, and he was reduced this morning to concocting stories about the Wicked Tories. He revived his favourite theme: that ‘welfare’ includes people who are working and claim tax credits. So in reforming welfare the Wicked Tories are attacking the working poor, whom they portray as shirkers living behind closed net curtains. On the Today Programme this morning, he said this:- I remember very well in 2008 – do you remember the tragedy of Shannon Matthews – the girl who was kidnapped by her parents? There was an article that day or a few days later by David Cameron in the Mail
Do you agree with the Tories’ Alternative Queen’s Speech?
A bunch of back bench Conservative MPs have won the right to present to parliament, via the almost pointless conduit of private members bills, a sort of alternative manifesto. A fairly uncameroonie alternative Queen’s Speech. The MPs in question include Peter Bone and Philip Hollobone, both of whom sound a little as though they had stepped out of a Mervyn Peake novel and both of whom represent constituencies comprised largely of orcs and goblins in Northamptonshire. That being said, they are both rather good fun and have been principled thorns in the side of the current party leadership. If you can have a principled thorn. I suppose you can’t. Anyway,
Denial is a River in Scotland
Aye, the old ones are the best. You might think that George Osborne’s decision to leave the Scottish block grant more-or-less untouched in yesterday’s spending review would be a cause for chuffedness north of the border. You’d think wrong. Osborne announced a 1.9% reduction in real-terms funds made available to the Scottish government. Alex Salmond’s ministry will have to make do with £25.7 billion. All hail the Barnett formula since Mr Osborne’s decision to protect health spending ensures that the funds available to Scotland are similarly guaranteed, minimising the ability to cut the block grant even if that were deemed economically – or, rather, politically – wise. Since many English
The View from 22 — Osborne’s spending review, the return of America and goodbye to Mervyn King
George Osborne’s latest spending review has demonstrated how little progress he has made on pushing Britain towards fiscal sanity. On the latest View from 22 podcast, James Forsyth and Isabel Hardman analyse Osborne’s statement to the Commons yesterday, the political significance of his plans and how Labour managed to fluff their response. Colleen Graffy, a former US state department official under George W. Bush, also joins Fraser Nelson to discuss our cover on the return of America as a significant presence on the world stage. How has the superpower regained its economic clout and what role, if any, did Barack Obama play in this miraculous recovery? Plus, Martin Vander Weyer
Coffee Shots: The sponging minister
One of the pleasures of Mr Steerpike’s job is stumbling across little photographic gems like this shot of Michael Gove, above. It would be selfish not to share them with Coffee House readers and ask for their thoughts and suggested captions in these Coffee Shots posts. So do post your comments below, and if you find any entertaining pictures (or gossip), contact steerpike@spectator.co.uk
An outbreak of peace among the Tories puts the pressure on Miliband
On Monday night, a Tory donor spent £90,000 on a bust of David Cameron at the party’s summer ball. It was an encouraging sign that there are still Conservatives prepared to lavish money and praise on the Prime Minister, and a reminder that the Tories will be able to run an extremely well- funded campaign at the next election. Another source of comfort for the Prime Minister is the stability of his great political love, the coalition. Those close to him are giddily confident that the government will make it all the way to May 2015. One minister boasts, ‘I’m absolutely certain of it.’ This uptick in confidence is a
Wednesday
EU 2014 Budget: good and bad news for David Cameron
In February, David Cameron managed to rally of group of likeminded countries to agree a historic cut to the EU’s long-term budget. However, due to the maddening complexities involved in the EU politics, a cut isn’t always a cut (just as an opt-out isn’t always an opt-out). Which is why, while all eyes in Westminster were on the scrap between George Osborne and Ed Balls over the Comprehensive Spending Review, the European Commission’s presentation today of its draft budget for 2014 – the first under the new deal – is politically significant. For Cameron, there is both good and bad news. The good is that the 2014 budget does indeed
Spending review 2013: Crossrail 2 is a clear win for Boris Johnson
Boris Johnson’s powers of persuasion have once again wooed George Osborne. In today’s spending review, the Chancellor has put aside £2 million to investigate Crossrail 2 — a new underground line for London. The fact the Mayor was able to bag another win from Osborne — Crossrail 1 was protected from funding cuts in 2010 — is testament to the political power of both the Mayor and the capital. Boris doesn’t even have re-election to think about this time. Crossrail 2 is key to Boris’ London legacy. His grand 2020 vision is peppered with references to the new line, which he claims is vital to London’s future and work could even begin
PMQs sketch: Tasered choirboys and hilarious failings
listen to ‘Spending review 2013: the Coffee House analysis’ on Audioboo Shock news at PMQs. Miliband scored a hit. He succeeded in making Cameron look silly. True, he enjoyed his triumph a little too much, but his performance will have cheered his party enormously. For weeks they’ve had to watch their leader bungling at the despatch-box like an octopus trying to make a pancake. Miliband’s weapon of choice: statistics. It’s hard to use mere mathematics to hurt a politician but Miliband handled his materials with deadly aplomb. He uncovered woeful failures in government programmes. And the revelations weren’t just bad. They were hilariously bad. He kicked off with a statement
Ed Balls’ shouty spending review response avoids difficult dividing lines
listen to ‘Spending review 2013: the Coffee House analysis’ on Audioboo Ed Balls had a rather shouty time in the Commons this afternoon when he responded to George Osborne’s spending review statement. It was a shame, because his lack of variation in tone and pace from ‘angry bellow’ level made what wasn’t a bad response a little difficult to follow. These responses to budgets, autumn statements and spending reviews are very difficult for any shadow chancellor or opposition leader to carry off well: you have no warning of what the Chancellor will say, and just the length of the speech itself to re-shape your pre-crafted speech and collect your thoughts.
Pippa Middleton: Boris, are you scared of me?
Pippa Middleton is back in the Spectator tomorrow. Here’s a little peek at what she says: ‘The last time I wrote in these pages, I issued a challenge to Boris Johnson to take me on at ping pong. The Mayor said he’d be up for it, and his office duly contacted The Spectator to arrange the details. Team Johnson insisted that the match should be held at a venue of their choosing. I said by all means. And then — nothing. The Spectator has tried to follow up, but now it’s radio silence from the Mayor’s office. Is Boris scared or what? He should be.’ Subscribers, all this and more
Spending review: George Osborne finds a way to put welfare front and centre – again
listen to ‘Spending review 2013: the Coffee House analysis’ on Audioboo The Liberal Democrats insisted that they wouldn’t accept any more welfare cuts. But George Osborne still found a way to put welfare at the centre of his statement today as he sought to put, what he calls, the ‘welfare party’ on the back foot. It was a reminder that he remains a thoroughly political Chancellor. There were a series of tough conditionality measures. The most headline-grabbing of these was that the around 100,000 people who claim JSA but aren’t proficient in English will have to learn the language or lose their benefits. The state, though, will pay for their