Politics

‘So what’s your alternative?’ demand Euro-enthusiasts. ‘D’you want Britain to be like Norway? Or like Switzerland? Making cuckoo clocks? Is that what you want? Is it? Eh?’ The alternative to remaining in a structurally unsafe building is, of course, walking out; but I accept that this won’t quite do as an answer. Although staying in the EU is a greater risk than leaving — the migration and euro crises are deepening, and Britain is being dragged into them — change-aversion is deep in our genome, and we vote accordingly. Europhiles know that most referendums go the way of the status quo, which is why their campaign is based around conjuring

Corbynterpretation [n]: The inevitable process of debate, after Jeremy Corbyn is interviewed, over what he actually meant. Does the Labour leader believe the killing of Osama bin Laden was a tragedy, or not believe this? Would he like Britain to negotiate with Daesh or would he be opposed to that happening? Would he, or would he not, abandon the Falkland Islands? As in, ‘Well, that’s a matter of Corbynterpretation’ or, ‘No, no, those remarks have been totally misCorbynterpreted.’ In order to Corbynterpret [v] one must first consider 1. Whether the Labour leader brought up the disputed view himself (invariably not) 2. Whether the Labour leader clearly said ‘yes’ after somebody

‘Who’s to blame for financial crisis’ is a poem I wrote in 2012, rhyming ‘speculators, spivs and traders’ with ‘rich, -uncaring hedge-fund raiders’, while taking passing swipes at Gordon Brown and ‘Mervyn King, who really didn’t do a thing’. But it’s too early in 2016 to update my ditty, because the new crisis — if that’s what it is — hasn’t really hit us yet, except in share prices that clearly have further to fall. And the question of who’s to blame, never mind how to make them rhyme, is going to be a lot more difficult this time round. ‘It’s China’s fault,’ was the gist of bulletins about the

Although David Cameron is said to be planning to scare the nation into staying in the EU, others in the in-camp think they can win voters over with the good. Britain Stronger in Europe have today sent out an optimistic press release revealing a key reason Britons ought to choose to remain in the EU: they can now watch BBC iPlayer abroad! ‘Brits are to gain access to UK streaming services while travelling in Europe following a decision by MEPs today,’ the email reads. To celebrate European Parliament approving a proposal which allows UK holidaymakers in the EU to access shows like EastEnders and Strictly Come Dancing abroad, Stronger In spokesman James McGrory — who is Nick Clegg’s

The EU referendum is looming, but the biggest fight at present is not between the two sides of the argument but the different ‘out’ factions. Only one campaign can get the official Electoral Commission designation, which is leading to some rats-in-a-sack behaviour from Leave.EU and Vote Leave, made worse by the launch of Peter Bone’s Grassroots Out group. The problem for the two sides, who are both calling each other names, is that they have to demonstrate to the Electoral Commission that they are the group that ‘represents to the greatest extent those campaigning for the outcome’, and this includes setting out ‘how you plan to represent other campaigners for

Two post-mortems into the general election come out today: the pollsters’ examination of how their surveys got the election so wrong, and Labour’s latest internal inquiry into how it lost that election. The first report, which is the preliminary findings of an independent inquiry set up by the British Polling Council and the Market Research Society, has more surprising information in it than the Beckett report which, when it it published later today, is expected to say that Labour lost because voters didn’t trust the party on the economy, leadership, or immigration. The pollsters seem to have succumbed to ‘herding’, which is when individual companies alter their sampling formulae to