Society

The turf | 27 April 2017

Any of us can forget little things on leaving home in a hurry. To the chagrin of Mrs Oakley, who might need a pint of milk or a few more tonics on my way home, my mobile phone and I don’t always arrive at the races together. In that regard I have long sympathised with the former Chancellor Kenneth Clarke. He regularly left his government-issue model at home (especially when heading for a day’s cricket) complaining, ‘The trouble with mobile phones is that sometimes people call you on them.’ I even forgot my wallet one day en route to Ascot and had to borrow my day’s staking money from the

Bridge | 27 April 2017

Last week we played round four of the Gold Cup. I had eagerly looked at the email to see who we were up against and for the first time ever we had drawn… Susanna’s team! Her partner was rubber-bridge maven Graham Orsmond, with Brian Ransley and Brian McGuire at the other table. The match was 48 boards and after 32 we were slightly ahead. The most dangerous opponents in a knockout match are those who are prepared to push the boat out to make up some ground. The two Brians are not afraid to put up a fight, and so it was, with 16 boards to go, that they came

Bugged

Polish grandmaster Akiba Rubinstein was one of the strongest players never to win the world title. Up to 1914 he seemed unstoppable, but then the Cuban genius Capablanca burst on to the scene and after the first world war Rubinstein was a changed man. In Chess and Chessmasters (Hardinge Simpole), Gideon Stahlberg wrote: ‘A latent disease of the mind was slowly weakening the titan’s creative powers and sapping his ability … but one could still recognise that he was a great master; his play was almost more subtle than before and his art more remarkable’. It was seen as a sign of his mental distraction that he seemed constantly disturbed

Portrait of the week | 27 April 2017

Home Jeremy Corbyn, the Labour leader, cheered the United Kingdom by promising four new bank holidays for the whole country when he becomes prime minister, for the patronal days of St David, St Patrick, St George and St Andrew. Asked about the replacement for the Trident nuclear deterrent, he said: ‘I’ve made clear any use of nuclear weapons would be a disaster for the whole world.’ Three hours later, the Labour party put out a statement saying: ‘The decision to renew Trident has been taken and Labour supports that.’ The Communist Party decided not to field candidates against Labour. Theresa May, the Prime Minister, visited South Wales, following a YouGov

Charles Moore

The Spectator’s Notes | 27 April 2017

With Emmanuel Macron and Marine Le Pen through to the final in France, people of a conservative disposition might feel themselves spoilt for choice. You can have either the believer in free markets and open societies or the upholder of sovereignty and national identity. In both cases, the left doesn’t get a look-in. But what if it isn’t like that at all? What if Macron, far from opposing the big state, is just a more technocratic version of the usual dirigiste from ENA? What if Le Pen, far from wanting a nation’s genius expressed in its vigorous parliamentary democracy, is just a spokesman for joyless resentment, looking for handouts for angry

Tanya Gold

Fowl play

Cafe Football is in the Westfield shopping centre in Stratford, east London, a shopping centre with a faulty name. It isn’t in the west, and it isn’t in a field. (The original Westfield is in Shepherd’s Bush. That is in the west, but not in a field. It is by the A40 and it is like America without the joy.) Westfield Stratford City sits in a puddle of chain cafés and restaurants and shops. It has been on my review list for three years, 2.9999999 of which I have spent cowering in north London. Stratford was — shall we call it renovated? — for the London Olympic Games in 2012,

Jane

‘What are you laughing at?’ asked my husband in an accusing tone on Monday morning last week as he unloaded supermarket bottles from a carrier bag into the drinks cabinet near his armchair. The answer was, to my surprise, Woman’s Hour, on which Jane Garvey had entertainingly been discussing names – ‘first names’, mostly, which we used to call Christian names, just as we used to talk of Red Indians. No longer. Jane Garvey doesn’t, it transpired, much care for Jane, which is popularly associated with plain. The Oxford English Dictionary’s first citation for Plain Jane is from Compton Mackenzie’s novel Carnival (1912), in which the mother of little Jenny

Dear Mary | 27 April 2017

Q. New colleagues invited us to lunch but didn’t warn us that the clippings had not been cleared up from a blackthorn hedge that lines their private drive. The next day we had two flat tyres. With established friends we would ring up and give them an earful, but we don’t know how this couple (who seem a bit humourless) would take it. However, we don’t think they should get away scot free — not least because their other guests might well suffer. What do you suggest? — Name withheld, Aberystwyth A. Ask them back. And when they next invite you to lunch accept gratefully, upon the stipulation that they

Toby Young

A progressive alliance? It’s more a coalition of chaos

My heart soared when I first heard the phrase ‘progressive alliance’ in this election campaign. Not the reaction you’d expect, perhaps, but any attempt to persuade people to vote tactically on the eve of a general election is doomed to failure. A complete waste of time. I should know because I tried to get a similar venture off the ground three years ago. Mine was a conservative version, obviously. In 2014 I was worried that the split on the right would enable Ed Miliband to become our next prime minister. So I launched a Unite the Right campaign and set about trying to persuade supporters of Ukip and the Tories

2307: Obit IV

Clockwise round the grid from 16 run the titles of four works (4,4,9,6,1,5,3,5,3,4,6) by a late great 3 (two apostrophes) followed by the 3’s initials. The remaining unclued lights combine to give a further such title (three words in total). Elsewhere, ignore an apostrophe.   Across 9    Middle-Easterner very soon returns (5) 10    Shrew lacks a house (5) 11    Old physician sheltered children (5) 12    Bear’s appetite (7) 13    Short purple satin dresses with nothing in bad style (10, two words) 16    Smart bastard shuns wet (5) 18    Primula withered beside brook (8, hyphened) 19    Grimy early English church edged by River Wye (6) 21    Some practise section of opera

New complaints data is a missed opportunity and will not help consumers

Yesterday the UK financial regulator released complaints data for the second half of 2016. While this happens every six months, yesterday was meant to be different. This data was meant to arm consumers with information to make more informed decisions, and ultimately empower people to make the financial world better. Sadly, it turned out to be a lost opportunity. So what did change? As a result of Policy Statement 19/15, the Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) has released more information than ever before. From 30 June 2016 all complaints handled by a regulated firm became reportable (previously it was just complaints dealt with by the close of the next working day). To enable

to 2304: Hexagon

The HEADWORD (26) ‘bail’ appears six times in CHAMBERS (1D). Its different meanings include CROSSPIECE (1A), BAR (25), FRAME (36), HOOP (40), LADLE (16) and SECURITY (24). BAIL (diagonally from 32) was to be shaded.   First prize Jacqui Sohn, Gorleston, Great Yarmouth Runners-up Alexander Caldin, Houston, Texas; B. Taylor, Little Lever, Bolton

Jonathan Ray

Wine Club 29 April

It’s spring and that means it’s time for rosé. Sales of the pink stuff continue to rocket and we’re all out and proud rosé drinkers these days, darling. That’s not to say there aren’t some dire bottles on the shelves. Like that vile Blush Zinfandel from California (shudder) or the weirdly coloured one from the corner shop that glows in the dark and numbs your gums. A fine rosé, though, is a wine of great beauty — and no rosés are finer than those from Sacha Lichine’s Château d’Esclans estate in Provence. The sole aim of Sacha and his partner Patrick Leon, former head winemaker at Château Mouton-Rothschild, is to

Why Theresa May’s 1970s-style energy price caps won’t work

Better access to education. Tax cuts for anyone in the struggling middle. More affordable homes, and more money for the National Heath Service. There is nothing wrong with Theresa May seeking to stake out the centre ground of British politics and stop Brexit turning into a right-wing campaign to turn back the clock. But one might have imagined she’d use conservative means to achieve this, rather than raiding Ed Miliband’s last manifesto for ideas. The proposed price cap on energy companies is an alarming example of Mrs May’s left turn. There are so many ways in which the price cap is a genuinely terrible idea that it is hard to

Roger Alton

The age of Joshua

Every so often comes a moment that can set the history of sport on a different trajectory. I believe we will witness such a moment on Saturday when Anthony Joshua, of Golders Green no less, fights the veteran Wladimir Klitschko for the Heavy-weight Champ-ionship of the World. At Wembley Stadium, not a Las Vegas car park. This is a battle of the ages and for the ages, and it is right here in London. For those of us who were glued to barely audible radios at 3am to hear epic US fights or flogged around seedy London cinemas for a live transmission, the romance, the magic and the brutal beauty

Ribaldry

In Competition No. 2995 you were invited to submit ribald limericks as they might have been written by a well-known poet. William Baring-Gould, who wrote a history of the genre, noted that when a limerick appears, sex is not far behind And the writer Norman Douglas considered limericks to be ‘jovial things… a yea-saying to life in a world that has grown grey’. The cheering winners of what was a hugely popular comp are rewarded with £8 each.   Though most of my loves are Platonicer, It was always quite different with Monica. If I’ve got a hard ’un Down there in the garden, We do it behind the Japonica.

Ruislip Lido

Most mornings, if I’m not too hung-over, I go for a run around Ruislip Lido — a mile there, through Ruislip Woods, about two miles round the lido and a mile back again. It generally takes me about half an hour. On my way, I see woodpeckers, egrets, sparrowhawks, and the occasional Muntjac deer. It’s hard to believe you’re in London, at the arse end of the Metropolitan line, surrounded by bland suburbia — John Betjeman’s Metroland. Ruislip Woods is the largest slice of natural woodland in Greater London: 726 acres of oak, beech and hornbeam, and the lido is its pearl. People have gathered timber from this scruffy forest