Society

Thursday

28 Apr 2016

Taki

High life | 28 April 2016

I read this in an American newspaper (it was written by a woman who used to edit my copy for a New York glossy, but I will withhold her name to save her embarrassment and social atrophy): ‘He’s hosted Kim Kardashian and Kanye West for Thanksgiving, regularly cruises with Justin Bieber on his party yacht…’ The mind boggles. Is it possible to read such crap without throwing up? How would you, dear reader, like to spend Thanksgiving with Kim and Kanye, or go cruising with Justin? (I’d rather fail a syphilis test than have a Kardashian as a guest.) I suppose that the selfish generation, whose motto is he who

Michael Dobbs

Diary – 28 April 2016

I’m a lucky man. My novel House of Cards transformed my life, yet I wrote it almost by accident nearly 30 years ago. It wasn’t intended to be anything other than a hobby but thanks to the limitless skills of Kevin Spacey and Robin Wright, backed by the reach of Netflix, it now spans the globe. We’re into our fourth season, preparing the fifth, but it never ceases to surprise. A little while ago during his official visit to Britain I was invited to meet President Xi of China. In order to mark the occasion I decided to give him an original and now rather rare hardback copy of the

Jeremy Clarke

Low life | 28 April 2016

I drank Bombay gin and Fever-Tree tonic on the half-empty easyJet flight to Gatwick. I was even offered ice cubes. I was dressed like a peon, so as soon as I arrived in London I went into the nearest Gap superstore and bought jeans, a shirt and a jumper in the sale and threw away the clobber I was wearing. The only items in the sale were either small or extra small so I looked a bit like a frogman, but felt much happier. I had another large one in a pub with overflowing flower baskets, then checked into the hotel, where a decision had been made, said the receptionist,

Melissa Kite

Real life | 28 April 2016

The gloves are off in my battle with the two brothers who live in the flat upstairs. They have just socked me a brutal left hook. And so no more am I going to be the neurotic, menopausal fruitcake downstairs. From now on I am going to unleash my difficult side. It’s a shame, because when they first moved in I thought they were going to be the neighbours I had always dreamed of: handsome and polite, with a look of dread in their eyes whenever I banged on their door. When I explained that the wheelie bin must be put out at right angles to the kerb at 8

Robin Oakley

Sandown thrills

The difference between praying in church and praying at the racecourse, a gnarled old punter once said, is that at the track you really mean it. At Sandown last Saturday, the last day of the jumping season, all our prayers were answered: you simply could not have asked for a better day. One reason we were all there was to celebrate Richard Johnson’s first jockeys’ championship after 16 times finishing a good-tempered and sporting second to his friend A.P. McCoy. In between the autograph-signing, Dickie Johnson provided the perfect seasonal sign-off by winning the bet365 Oaksey Chase on Menorah for trainer Philip Hobbs in the familiar blue colours of Diana

Janet de Botton

Bridge | 28 April 2016

The day before the London Marathon, Young Chelsea BC held its spring half-marathon. Eighty-seven boards were played over 12 hours (it used to be a full 24 hours), the scoring was IMPs and 30 pairs took part. It was won by Colin Simpson and David Kendrick, two extremely good players with donkey’s years experience behind them and not in need of a lot of sleep. But it isn’t only about playing well, you have to know how to take advantage of tired and despondent opponents. Interestingly, it also attracted some relative newcomers who are clearly hooked on bridge. One of them was Natalie Shashou, who played with my teammate (and

Dot Wordsworth

Queue

The language that President Barack Obama used was evidence of skulduggery, Nigel Farage declared. ‘The UK is gonna be in the back of the queue’ if it leaves the European Union, Mr Obama said, standing next to David Cameron in front of a gilt and stencilled Victorian wall in the Foreign Office. There! Americans say stand in line, Mr Farage suggested, so Mr Obama must be delivering words fed to him by the snake Cameron. Some reports had Mr Obama saying at the back of the queue, unconsciously adjusting his words to the British English idiom, rather than in the back of it, as though it were an estate car

Tanya Gold

Lost in Piccadilly

Batman owned the Criterion in The Dark Knight, but could he do anything about British Telecom? Savini at Criterion, an Italian restaurant, waited four months for an internet connection and telephone line as they prepared to launch this year; when it arrived they gave BT what must be the worst review in the history of telecommunications: ‘This wouldn’t happen in Italy.’ It ruined the launch, they said. They couldn’t invite actors, except by pigeon post. And because actors are, in restaurant marketing terms, signposts — and they do look like signposts, specifically Monagasque signposts — no one knew Savini was there. It has no constituency. It is George Galloway, who

Mary Killen

Your problems solved | 28 April 2016

Q. How does one go about getting invited to a wedding? Two friends of mine from university, who I have not managed to stay in touch with since we left three years ago, are getting married this summer, and I would very much like to go to their wedding but, understandably, have not been invited. The thing is, I knew them both separately, and was there when they first met each other, so it would feel appropriate to be at the wedding as well! And it would be lovely to see them. Any ideas? — Y.O., by email A. A two-pronged attack should be used. Send an email, ideally enclosing

Toby Young

What if Murdoch owned the Beeb?

A new book published today by the Institute of Economic Affairs called In Focus: The Case for Privatising the BBC includes a chapter by the economist Ryan Bourne on the BBC’s left-of-centre bias. As you’d expect, Bourne’s contribution includes plenty of fascinating data, such as the fact that ‘Thought for the Day’ contributors are eight times more likely to offer a negative view of market-based and capitalist activity than a positive view. However, Bourne doesn’t accuse the Beeb of straightforward left-wing bias. Its partiality is more subtle and complicated than that. He cites an example of the BBC’s coverage of immigration provided by Roger Mosey, a former editorial director. In

Lavatch

2258: Perimetrical jigsaw

Clues are listed in alphabetical order of their solutions. An 11-word quotation runs around the perimeter from the top left-hand corner. Four thematic clued answers need highlighting, as does a thematic name (7) in the completed grid. Not looking well, with a scar and spasm? (10) Gossip’s husband abandoning visit (4) Always home for letter (4) Smart data unit, we hear (4) Tailless bear in boggy copse (4) Roman gods give role to Greek judge (6) Her date panicked and hid (7) Direction of river by street (4) Poet’s simple, barren land in Hackney (4) Fixed run back for dance positions (7) English setter’s accepting way to show feeling

Lavatch

To 2255: In the pink

Oscar WILDE (35) described hunting as THE UNSPEAKABLE IN FULL PURSUIT OF THE UNEATABLE (1A, 14, 30, 42), and the huntsmen are John PEEL (12), JORROCKS (R.S. Surtees) (19) and Siegfried SASSOON (Memoirs of a Foxhunting Man) (28). First prize Heather Weeks, Hove, East Sussex Runners-up Hilda Ball, Belfast; Hugh Thomas, Ixworth, Suffolk

Laura Whitcombe

It’s time for British consumers to get real

‘That’s Asda price’ is a thing of the past. The slogan’s long gone and so, it appears, is the retailer’s commitment to offering customers value for money. The regulator has just singled it out by demanding a written pledge that it will change its ways when it comes to promotional deals, which have been criticised for being somewhat dodgy. Asda was far from alone in over-egging its special deals for customers. The regulator’s been investigating most of the big UK supermarkets since consumer group Which? launched a ‘super-complaint’ last year, after finding evidence of misleading prices. However, what sets Asda apart from its rivals is that it was the only

Tom Goodenough

The Spectator podcast: When the right goes wrong

To subscribe to The Spectator’s weekly podcast, for free, visit the iTunes store or click here for our RSS feed. Alternatively, you can follow us on SoundCloud. Is crazy all the rage in today’s politics and are conservatives going a little bit mad? That’s the topic for this week’s Spectator cover piece in which Freddy Gray argues that in America and in Britain, the right is tearing itself apart. Whilst Brits might be busy pointing and laughing at Donald Trump, all over the world conservatism is having a nervous breakdown, says Freddy. And the EU referendum is starting to prove that British Conservatives can be as barmy as everyone else.

The Spectator

How to listen to The Spectator podcast

Every week, The Spectator podcast brings together a variety of people to discuss politics, culture and current affairs. Presented by Isabel Hardman, The Spectator’s assistant editor, each episode focusses on three separate topics. Past guests have included everyone from doctors to dominatrixes, cab drivers to Cabinet ministers. To join some of the best British journalists, critics and authors discussing an intelligent and entertaining mix of stories, you can subscribe to our free podcast in a number of different ways. Episodes will then automatically download to your computer, phone or tablet. To subscribe using iTunes, click here. Alternatively, you can find our RSS feed here. The following links will allow you to stream episodes through our apps for iPhone, iPad or

Jonathan Ray

Our visit to Chapel Down

I have a particular fondness for the Chapel Down Winery near Tenterden, Kent. I was brought up just down the road in Rolvenden, although in those days it was of course all hop gardens and orchards rather than vineyards. The landscape of southern England is certainly changing. Chapel Down is the UK’s largest producer of wines and, with a massive expansion underway, will soon overtake Denbies in Surrey in terms of vineyard acreage too. And, gosh, the wines they make are good. I led a heavily oversubscribed Spectator visit to Chapel Down on St. George’s Day and we had a hoot (one couple even came specially from Brussels). Josh Donaghay-Spire,

Jonathan Ray

Wine Club 30 April

There is rosé and there is rosé. By which I mean there is the ghastly, teeth-rattling, vinous bubblegum that is Blossom Hill White (actually pink) Zinfandel from California, which you can pick up in Tesco for a fiver a bottle (plus £3.69 for the subsequent essential Alka-Seltzer), and there is the subtle, herbal, spicy, salmon pink Single Blend from Sacha Lichine’s Château d’Esclans estate in Provence, which you can nab for £9.45 a bottle with this offer. I know which I prefer. Lichine’s partner at d’Esclans is Patrick Leon, the former head winemaker at Château Mouton-Rothschild, and their avowed intent (which many would say they’ve already achieved) is to make

Roger Alton

A triumph for brutality

It’s always good to see a great con trick in action. Take Boris Johnson: not really the lovable quick-witted scamp with a good line in Latin gags and a few problems in the trouser department, but a ruthless opportunist with a dreadful attitude to women and a strong line in extreme rudeness to visiting presidents. Not what he seems at all. I’m beginning to feel the same about Leicester City. Wonderful story and all that: fairy-tale, Jamie Vardy, blah blah. Enough already. ‘Uncle’ Claudio Ranieri has brilliantly and charmingly pulled the wool over our eyes with his free -pizzas and ‘dingly-dong, dingly-dong’ stuff about waking up dozy players, all done

The Spectator

The Easter rising

From ‘The Dublin Revolt’, The Spectator, 29 April 1916: If we are to do what will most disappoint the Germans, and that surely is a thing worth doing, we must pick up the pieces in Ireland with as little fuss as possible, and show the minimum of annoyance and disturbance… The insurrection in Ireland, seen in its true proportions, is not a great military event.

Michael Moorcock

Cotton Belt Notebook

Clarksdale, Mississippi, where Highway 61 crosses 49 and Robert Johnson met the Devil, who taught him the secret of the blues. Out of the blues came Elvis, rock and roll, most of today’s popular music. My wife Linda was born here when Clarksdale was ‘the golden buckle of the Cotton Belt’. At the height of its prosperity the Delta was a magnet for both capital and labour. The labour had names like Muddy Waters, Son House, John Lee Hooker. They created the Delta blues and took it on the train up to Memphis and Chicago with the cotton. When I first came here, the picked cotton was so thick on