Society

Saturday

Jeremy Clarke

Change or die

I’d been away for three weeks and when I came back the lockers had been moved. I was directed to a space on the gym floor between the drinking fountain and the rowing machines. On the rowing machine nearest to the lockers was a woman with the face of Gina Lollobrigida and the body of Silvia Saint. She was rowing slowly, almost voluptuously. I’d seen her — you couldn’t really miss her — several times before, working out with her strongman husband. She is a sort of cartoon version of my teenage fantasy of the perfectly proportioned woman. It’s a ludicrous fantasy which has unfortunately lost little of its power

Taki

An eye for an eye

Gstaad It was a balmy June day, Pentecost Sunday, a major holiday in France. The Casino de la Corniche was a chic and popular establishment on a rocky spur between Saint-Eugène and Pointe-Pescade. The beach was the finest in the area, and the young French lieutenant, scion of a ducal family, went for a swim with a friend. After he walked up the hill, with its plush gardens surrounding the casino, where from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m. there was a matinée dansante with couples dancing the foxtrot and the tango. By all accounts it was an idyllic scene. ‘The deep blue of the Mediterranean, the cloudless sky, the honey-coloured

Toby Young Toby Young

My socialist father sent me to grammar school to save me from being a ditch-digger

Thirty years have passed since I received the envelope containing my O-level results, but I can still recall the moment my eyes scanned the letter. I got a C in English Literature, a Grade 1 in CSE Drama and failed the rest. I relayed the news to my mother and suggested I embark on a residential Work Experience Programme with a view to learning a trade. She enthusiastically endorsed this plan. From that moment on I was fixed on a path of downward social mobility and would now be a labourer were it not for two things. The first one was the Work Experience Programme. The idea was that you

Mary Killen

Dear Mary | 28 August 2010

Q. I am getting married next year and I read with interest your recent correspondence concerning public medal-wearing. I am a former Royal Auxiliary Air Force member and had hoped to wed in uniform. Sadly however, several years ago forces beyond my control meant I had to retire from the RAuxAF, and so I cannot now wear uniform, having returned it to Her Majesty. Could you ask your regimental adjutant friend what his views are on wearing my medals at such a very public celebration, please? M.S., by email A. I think the previous advice holds: ‘I would never wear medals when attending a funeral or memorial service. In fact,

The Spectator

Letters | 28 August 2010

Use the force Sir: The problem with Alasdair Palmer’s argument against police reform (‘The coalition’s police reforms will fail’, 21 August) is that it merely echoed Gordon Brown’s mantra for the last ten years. According to this view, what matters most is how much money is spent on public services. The more we spend on our police, schools, etc, the better they are bound to be. Some of us questioned this idea from the beginning. Others began to have doubts when services failed to improve in proportion to the substantial resources pumped in. Most people finally rejected the age of big spending when the country went bust. Actually — and

The Spectator

Portrait of the week | 28 August 2010

Mr Michael O’Higgins, the chairman of the Audit Commission, denied accusations made by Mr Eric Pickles, the Communities Secretary, of organisational extravagance exemplified by spending £5,943 to hire the Reform Club for a 25th anniversary event and £40,000 on pot plants for its offices. Mr Michael O’Higgins, the chairman of the Audit Commission, denied accusations made by Mr Eric Pickles, the Communities Secretary, of organisational extravagance exemplified by spending £5,943 to hire the Reform Club for a 25th anniversary event and £40,000 on pot plants for its offices. The Institute for Fiscal Studies said that the emergency Budget in June was regressive, hitting poorer people hardest. In the three months

The Spectator

Baby Cam’s question time

What could David Cameron wish for his new daughter? All fathers want their children to grow up in a better world. The Prime Minister is in the position to forge one. He has a good chance of his youngest daughter celebrating her next nine birthdays at Chequers, and there is much he can do in the meantime. There are several questions we hope Baby Cam (her name was not chosen when we went to press) will be able to ask her father on her tenth birthday. The first is ‘what was a sink school, Daddy?’ The academies proposal by Michael Gove can — if properly rolled out — make them

The Spectator

University challenged

One of the least remarked-upon scandals of recent years is the mis-selling of Higher Education. Pupils are now told, from a very early age, that university should be the great goal in schooling; that there is some kind of binary distinction between those with initials after their name and the also-rans. David Willetts, the Universities Minister, remarked recently that graduates make on average £100,000 more over a lifetime — a windfall which he says his government may penalise them for in the form of a graduate tax. There is a scam going on here which the young ought to be alerted to. This year, around 160,000 school-leavers will miss out

Peter Jones

Ancient & modern | 28 August 2010

Will the coalition fall apart, as Lib Dems not in government attempt to bring their influence to bear on policies ‘for which they were not elected’? If the Cameron-Clegg relationship is anything like the Roman patronus-cliens relationship, it is unlikely. Will the coalition fall apart, as Lib Dems not in government attempt to bring their influence to bear on policies ‘for which they were not elected’? If the Cameron-Clegg relationship is anything like the Roman patronus-cliens relationship, it is unlikely. All Roman political big shots surrounded themselves with political supporters in the shape of voluntary ‘clients’, but the relationship between the two was not symmetrical. The reason is that, while

Alex Massie Alex Massie

The Pity of Pakistan

Broad and Trott skip on against Pakistan. Amir looks on in some pain. Photo: Clive Rose/Getty Images. One ball. One wicket. That’s how far away Pakistan were from establishing a match-winning and series-squaring position at Lords. Now only god or, more probably, rain can save them. When Stuart Broad joined Jonathan Trott at the crease on Friday England were reeling at 102-7. If any one of the next, oh, 180 deliveries had dismissed either batsman England might have been dismissed for no more than 200 runs and Pakistan would have enjoyed every chance of forcing another improbable victory and, in so doing, levelling the series. Such are the margins between

David Blackburn

Round x of Hunt versus Thompson

Jeremy Hunt has responded to Mark Thompson’s MacTaggert lecture, the contents of which have been reviewed by Paul Goodman at Con Home. You can watch Hunt here. He’s becoming as repetitive as the talking clock: the BBC must be live on the same planet as everyone else, the licence fee is not off limits and competition (both for programming and platforms) is a good thing and that the licence fee is not a muscle for the BBC to expand its activities ever further. As usual, he reserved ire for the BBC’s lack of transparency, which has led to excess in executive pay. But Hunt is an adept performer and realises

David Blackburn

Bad news for Clarke

Professor Ken Pease, the renowned criminologist, has written a report for the think-tank Civitas which rubbishes Ken Clarke’s plan to reduce prison numbers by extending community sentencing. Pease is of the Howard school: prison works. The key is that community sentences do not reduce reoffending. Pease estimates that 13,892 convicted offences could have been prevented by incarcerating prisoners for one extra month. The crimes for which offenders are convicted are a fraction of what they author. Pease quotes one estimate that there are 130 burglaries per conviction. Money is not saved by reducing incarceration because the costs associated with the victims (police time, NHS treatment, increased insurance premiums) increase. Using

The Spectator

An apology to Professor John Moore

The Spectator apologises to Professor Moore for certain postings by contributors using pseudonyms “CWBPI” and “Michael” under our “Questioning the Aids Consensus” blog in October 2009. The comments were removed following a complaint by Professor Moore. We are happy to accept that these comments were both abusive and untrue. The Spectator has agreed to make a donation to a HIV/AIDS charity.

The Spectator

Islam Expo: Apology

Stephen Pollard and the Spectator apologise for the unintended and false suggestion in a blog published on 15 July 2008 that Islam Expo Limited is a fascist party dedicated to genocide which organised a conference with a racist and genocidal programme. We accept that Islam Expo’s purpose is to provide a neutral and broad-based platform for debate on issues relating to Muslims and Islam.

Ed Howker

Revealed: the secret war over England’s schools

Having lost the battle over Michael Gove’s Academies Act, the enemies of school reform have switched to guerrilla tactics. Fraser Nelson and Ed Howker on the methods which may yet kill off the flagship Tory agenda Any head teacher of a school trying to free itself from state control will have had no summer holiday this year. In the weeks since Michael Gove introduced a law allowing top-rated schools to break free from local authority control, trade unions have been on the hunt for anyone daring to express interest in this offer. Heads have been sent letters, demanding they reveal their intentions. Those who do not reply are told they

John Witheridge

An answer to the A-level debacle — and Gary Lineker

As soon as Charterhouse found a credible way out of the A-level stranglehold we took it. Two years later, we are celebrating the achievements of the first cohort to sit the Cambridge International Board’s Pre-U (Pre-University) examination. Here are syllabuses that engage and stretch sixth-formers. They require deep delving, rigorous research and wider reading. Pupils are encouraged to take intellectual risks by developing their own ideas and arguments, and are rewarded for academic flair. All this will ring bells with those of us who sat A-levels 30 or 40 years ago, but not with those who sat today’s A-levels, with their ‘accessible’, prescriptive and frankly boring curricula, and examinations in

Rod Liddle Rod Liddle

A mosque near Ground Zero? Everyone’s deluded

Rod Liddle says that the battle over the Islamic cultural centre mirrors the tortuous debate we’ve all endured for nearly a decade Like you, I suspect, I am hugely enjoying the debate as to whether or not a huge Islamic cultural centre and prayer room should be built 100 yards or so from Ground Zero in New York — where, fittingly, Islam made perhaps its most iconic and vibrant cultural statement of the present century. For many of those who lost husbands, wives, friends and colleagues in the 9/11 attacks, the plan for a mosque seems to be — you know — just pushing it a little bit: a little

Harry Mount

Don’t police the beach

You might not have been to Freshwater West, on the remote western shores of Pembrokeshire, but you’ve probably seen it before — on the big screen. Because the bay is so untouched by man, it can stand in for pretty much any period in history. It’s just starred as the medieval beach in Russell Crowe’s Robin Hood, and as the seaside home to the shell house in the latest Harry Potter film. These days, it couldn’t stand in for much, except perhaps a Welsh version of Baywatch — Boyowatch, perhaps? Because, as of this year, between 26 June and 5 September, the beach has been destroyed by the Royal National

Clarke Hayes

Waste not, want not: join the new food revolution

‘Are you saving that, Clarke?’ they ask, sniggering. ‘Are you saving that, Clarke?’ they ask, sniggering. ‘Is there enough room in the fridge, what with all the other leftovers?’ Then they giggle, and turn on EastEnders. They mock me but I am resilient, and full of resolve. I have no time for soaps and mindless television because I am a food waste-buster: one of a growing group who can’t bear the amount of food people throw away. I have no time for TV — I have cupboards to organise, soups and stocks to concoct, chutneys to make, tomatoes to bottle and jams to set. There are many of us out

Lloyd Evans Lloyd Evans

How to deal with hecklers

It began like any other Edinburgh gig. A cellar bar at midnight. An Australian compère warming up the crowd. ‘Anybody here from overseas?’ A voice shouted ‘I’m from Amsterdam!’ in a gnarled Glaswegian accent. It was supposed to be funny but no one laughed. The compère, sensing a challenge in the man’s voice, delivered an instant put-down. ‘So you’re homeless. And you’re a drug addict. Keep your troubles to yourself, mate.’ This got a big laugh, though on the page it doesn’t even look like a joke. Translation: Amsterdam equals drug addict. Glasgow equals homeless. The combination equals big fat loser. With the room jeering at him, the Glaswegian fell