Society

Monday

Alex Massie Alex Massie

England, Their F***ing England

Amazing. Pupils are being rewarded for writing obscenities in their GCSE English examinations even when it has nothing to do with the question. One pupil who wrote “f*** off” was given marks for accurate spelling and conveying a meaning successfully. His paper was marked by Peter Buckroyd, a chief examiner who has instructed fellow examiners to mark in the same way. He told trainee examiners recently to adhere strictly to the mark scheme, to the extent that pupils who wrote only expletives on their papers should be awarded points. On the other hand… you might  say, given that I assume that plenty of the questions (in these shabby, fallen days!)

Alex Massie Alex Massie

The stars were bright, Fernando…

Memo to the Associated Press and the New York Times: describing Fernando Torres as a “slumping striker” and claiming that he had “been invisible in this tournament” makes you look like a bunch of chumps. Better, you know, to say nothing than expose yourselves in this fashion*. Anyway, having written this genially mean-spirited blast against the Germans, I’m obviously delighted that Spain triumphed. For once the best team won and now, of all the “major” european powers it’s England that have gone the longest without hauling in a significant trophy… *This sort of ignorance, of course, infuriates American soccer fans who do know their stuff, appreciating, like, that goals aren’t

Henrietta Bredin

Stop running

Running is not a part of my repertoire – nobody with a bosom of even a sliver above the average size would dream of subjecting it to such horrendously jolting treatment – and I am disposed to be suspicious of anyone over the age of 12 who considers it a good way of getting around except in a case of dire emergency. I am therefore a touch dubious about Martin Creed’s new work at Tate Britain, which involves runners sprinting through the Duveen Galleries – where such an activity is usually and thankfully prohibited – at 30-second intervals. All the same, it does sound slightly more sane than the activities

Peter Hoskin

The beginning of the end for eco-towns?

It’s hard not to applaud those who marched on Parliament today to protest the Government’s eco-town policy. Whatever their motivations, they’ve got quite a case. As I’ve blogged before, there are several reasons to think that these towns will be neither good for the environment nor helpful for first-time buyers. Which completely defeats their purpose. The protest could even mark the beginning of end for this risky – and expensive – social experiment. The Tories have today withdrawn their support from it – meaning eco-towns are unlikely to survive the next election. As it stands, Brown may not even have time to put the foundations in place.

James Forsyth James Forsyth

A question of timing

Over at Three Line Whip, Rob Winnett points out that David Cameron really needs to decide what to do about Caroline Spellman before the Haltemprice & Howden by-election. If Spellman is forced out once David Davis has been returned to Parliament, it will be hard for Cameron not to take the opportunity to bring Davis back to the top table. If Cameron does decide that he needs to ask Spellman for her resignation, then there is a simple mini-reshuffle available to him: move Eric Pickles to party chairman and Paul Goodman up to shadow Hazel Blears.  Part of the appeal of this is that making Pickles, a folksy Yorshireman, party

James Forsyth James Forsyth

Al Qaeda’s base

The New York Times’ big splash today on the hunt for Osama bin Laden is well worth reading in full as it deals with the more important question of what Al Qaeda is capable of now.  Here are the two key paragraphs on this point: Just as it had on the day before 9/11, Al Qaeda now has a band of terrorist camps from which to plan and train for attacks against Western targets, including the United States. Officials say the new camps are smaller than the ones the group used prior to 2001. However, despite dozens of American missile strikes in Pakistan since 2002, one retired C.I.A. officer estimated that

James Forsyth James Forsyth

Has the endgame already started?

You won’t find many hacks better connected than Trevor Kavanagh so his column today is particularly noteworthy as it assumes that Gordon Brown being told to step down by some of those closest to him is inevitable: The party won’t have him humiliated by a Cabinet coup, a stalking horse challenge or a showdown with “men in suits”. But senior Labour figures want the issue sorted before the party conference in September. So . . . who? Both pals and plotters believe there are just two options. Either Gordon’s family — his wife, Sarah, or brother Andrew — will step in to save this proud man from further torture and

Maurice Gerard

Mugabe’s victory: the aftermath

Mugabe’s inauguration was a closed affair. Judges in colonial era wigs and robes sat patiently whilst he spoke, whilst advisors and military personnel, bedecked in medals, marched and saluted him. The rest of Harare was indoors. Shops and businesses shut, even the ubiquitous money changers – now offering Z$50 billion to the pound – seemed to have closed ranks. Harare’s central business district was empty, save for the occasional 4×4 and Mercedes off to see the Mugabe jamboree. The rumour mill was on turbo-mode too: Reports of Zanu-PF supporters looking to exact retribution on those who didn’t vote. Tales of hapless voters who spoilt their ballots being beaten in the

James Forsyth James Forsyth

Ashley diagnoses Labour ministers with clinical depression

If you want to get a feeling for the pain that Labour is currently going through read Jackie Ashley’s column in The Guardian which sums up the situation brilliantly. “Talking to ministers over the past few weeks, I have been struck by how fatalistic they have become. They do not seem, in the main, to be rebellious, angry or even despairing. Despair is too energetic a word. They seem clinically depressed, tired and flat. There has been talk of a posse of 15 junior ministers going to Brown to tell him the game is up but the consensus is that it won’t happen – in effect because they cannot be

Peter Hoskin

CoffeeHousers’ Wall, 30 June – 6 July

Welcome to the second CoffeeHousers’ Wall. For those who missed it first time around, CoffeeHousers’ Wall is a new feature on Spectator.co.uk.  Every Monday, we’ll put up a ‘wall’ post and – provided your writing isn’t libelous, crammed with swearing, or offensive to common decency – you’ll be able to say whatever you like in the comments section. There is no topic, so there’s no need to stay ‘on topic’ – which means you’ll be able to debate with each other more freely and extensively. There’s also no constraint on the length of what you write – so, in effect, you can become Coffee House bloggers. Anything’s fair game –

James Forsyth James Forsyth

You couldn’t make it up | 30 June 2008

Like Stephen, I couldn’t quite believe it when I read that children now receive marks in English GCSE for writing ‘F*** off’. The explanation from Peter Buckroyd, chief examiner of English for the Assessment and Qualifications Alliance, that writing down this expletive ‘does show some very basic skills we are looking for’ does make one think that it must be April 1st. One imagines children up and down the land writing ‘F*** off’ on their homework and responding to any objection from their teachers with the line ‘you get a mark for it.’ PS For contrast, try answering some of the questions from the old 11-plus. The 11-plus might not have

The Spectator

Just in case you missed them… | 30 June 2008

… hare are some posts made over the weekend on Spectator.co.uk: Maurice Gerard reports on race relations from inside Zimbabwe. Fraser Nelson analyses the “meltdown” that Gordon Brown could face in Scotland, and claims that Wendy Alexander was not up to the job. Peter Hoskin marks Robert Mugabe’s disgraceful victory in Zimbabwe’s presidential election, and outlines where CoffeeHousers think it all went wrong for Brown. And Clive Davis gives his thoughts on gun legislation in the US.

Sunday

Alex Massie Alex Massie

L is for Lloyd

It’s Clive Lloyd’s turn to lead a side in this series. So here is the L XI, to follow those led by Armstrong, Benaud, Constantine, Dexter,  Edrich,  Fry, Gower,  Hutton,  Imran and Jardine and Kapil. 1. Bill Lawry (AUS)2. Justin Langer (AUS)3. Brian Lara (WI)4. Maurice Leyland (ENG)5. Clive Lloyd (WI) (Capt)6. Denis Lindsay (SA) (Wkt)7. Ray Lindwall (AUS)8. Harold Larwood (ENG)9. Jim Laker (ENG)10. George Lohmann (ENG)11. Dennis Lillee (AUS) Country representation so far: England 45, Australia 27, West Indies 17, India 12, Pakistan 11, South Africa 11, New Zealand 5, Sri Lanka 2, Zimbabwe 1, USA 1.

Peter Hoskin

The rape of democracy

Now this is unsurprising: Robert Mugabe is being sworn in as Zimbabwe’s president for another five years, after winning the recent “run-off” election by a landslide. I guess this is his warped idea of democratic legitimacy.  But when he’s blocked earlier outcomes, subdued all political opposition and threatened voters with extreme violence, it’s obviously nothing of the sort.  It would almost be farcical, were it not for the further suffering to which this “result” condemns Zimbabwe’s people. It can only be hoped that the international community responds accordingly, starting at the African Union summit in Egypt tomorrow. Expect more on this from our correspondent in Zimbabwe, Maurice Gerard.

The Spectator

CoffeeHousers’ Wall | 29 June 2008

This week’s CoffeeHousers’ Wall is here. Head over there to have your say on the week’s events and to let us know what you’d like to see on Coffee House. And remember that the CoffeeHouser who makes the best contribution to the wall this week will win a bottle of bubbly.  

Saturday

Tamzin Lightwater

Diary of a Notting Hill Nobody | 28 June 2008

Monday Hats off to the Major government — it’s not easy managing sleaze. Putting out endless statements explaining why some MP or other isn’t on the take. The reasons are so complicated. Plus it takes ages to calm them down. They ring in on the Helpline practically hysterical. Had one this morning. ‘Have you any idea how much money I could be fiddling? I haven’t put through a genuinely fraudulent expense claim for two years, and what thanks do I get? My local paper exposing me for claiming an iPod, that’s what. It’s a disgrace! I need that iPod for urgent constituency relaxation business. What’s David going to do about

Alexander Chancellor

Diary – 28 June 2008

I’m just back from New York, where I met friends from the New York Times. Their morale, they said, was low. This is a typical complaint of journalists everywhere; for not only are they seldom content with their lot but, more than people in any other trade, they love to analyse and expound upon their collective state of mind. But those at the New York Times do have reason for feeling a little glum. Circulation has been falling, advertising revenue is down, and the management recently made some 140 journalists redundant. It’s the same sort of story on most newspapers, but the Times used to seem so mighty and impregnable

Charles Moore Charles Moore

The Spectator’s Notes | 28 June 2008

‘Paul Johnson has killed Gordon Brown.’ This news was brought recently to Tessa Jowell, Anji Hunter, Margaret Jay and other Labour luminaries gathered in the Sabine hills near Rome. Shocked, they reached for their BlackBerries to find out more and make arrangements to fly home. Luckily, matters were quickly explained. After Mr Brown’s failure to call an election last October, Carla Powell, host of the above, named her pet rabbit after him. She possesses eight dogs, including a large, amiable stray called Tony Blair. Tony Blair never dared molest Gordon Brown. But six of Carla’s dogs are dachshunds, and the fiercest she named Paul Johnson, after this magazine’s distinguished columnist.

The Spectator

Letters | 28 June 2008

Hard-won liberties Sir: In an otherwise well argued leading article (‘The old order changeth’, 21 June), you repeat the claim that ‘poll after poll has suggested strong popular support for the 42-day extension’. Well, up to a point Lord Copper! Certainly, the public has been more than happy to support the idea that ‘suspected terrorists’ (a loaded phrase in and of itself) should be ‘held for questioning’, rather than released to wreak havoc on the innocent populace. Why would they not? After all, surely only the guilty have anything to fear from this and similar measures? I wonder, however, whether many would take the same view if asked whether they

Toby Young Toby Young

Status Anxiety | 28 June 2008

My father was a lifelong socialist. He joined the Labour party at the age of 16 and at the time of his death, 70 years later, he was a Labour member of the House of Lords. He was a fairly typical left-winger in that he preferred the company of the poor to the rich and he regarded conspicuous consumption — particularly that of the nouveau riche — as the eighth deadly sin. However, he did have one capitalist vice: he was obsessed with cars. This may explain why during his most politically active phase, when he was plotting the downfall of the ruling class, he drove a Bentley. I was