The Battle for Britain | 17 May 2025
Society
Thursday
How emotions shape our decision-making
Ask any estate agent: most potential house buyers arrive with a detailed list of criteria for their new home, only to end up buying a property which meets almost none of them. The same is true of dating – few of us are married to people chosen on the basis of an initial checklist. Henry VIII tried this approach and it didn’t turn out well. You could dismiss this as mere whimsicality. However, the seeming messiness of such decision-making – the fact we refine our preferences in response to what we find available – is what makes consumer capitalism much more innovative than the faux-rational capitalism practised by large organisations.
Dear Mary: how can I relax about the clothes moths in my home?
Q. Having previously lived in the country in a field with my nearest neighbour not even visible, I recently moved to a large village. I inherited a nice garden with lots of shrubs and perennials that make me very happy. However, my neighbour, whom I like and have for dinner, also likes my garden plants and secretly helps herself to my flowers. I have even been to her house and seen my delphiniums in a vase on her table. I’m new to the area and I want to keep the friends I’m starting to make, but I really mind her barefaced thievery. What do I do? – E.B., Oneonta, New
The £486 driving licence con
By changing the address on my driving licence, I was somehow signed up to something that began charging my credit card £39 a month and was going to carry on charging for ever. It was Barclaycard that spotted it and warned me it was a ‘scam’ in a text alert. Had I really agreed to a recurring payment to a company called British Drive? I had no idea what British Drive was, and at first suspected it was an insurance policy, or the firm that organised my recent speeding course. Eventually, I realised it could be something to do with going on to the DVLA website – or so I
The art of the political lunch
We had been discussing Ukraine, Gaza, Iran, the possibility of a nuclear exchange across the Punjab and other trifling matters. It was decided to change the subject. A youngster was planning to write a piece on lunching and suggested I might know something about that. I did not disagree. In the old days, lunching was a vital part of the political process. It was a good way of getting to know politicians, so that contacts would ripen into friendships. That said, it was not an efficient method of discussing complex matters. Lunch was forgossip and general political impressions. If detailed rumination was necessary, the place for that was in the
Pope Francis, my love rival
To be honest, I felt relief when Pope Francis died. This had nothing much to do with his regular assertion, in contradiction of Catholic doctrine, that all war is unjust. Or his view that Ukraine should have ‘the courage to raise the white flag’ to stop more futile bloodshed which ironically is (more or less) Donald Trump’s view. Or his suggestion that Israel is guilty of genocide in Gaza. Or his more-the-merrier view on illegal immigrants. No. The cause turned not on politics but on the heart. However absurdly, I had come to see the Holy Father as a love rival. My wife Carla, a devout Catholic, was besotted with
Can a conclave be secretive?
During the conclave the BBC headlines kept on calling it ‘secretive’. The effect on my husband each time was much like that of a child kicking the back of his seat on an aeroplane. He was annoyed. I could tell by the way he shouted. Secretive is a pejorative adjective. The ending –ive implies a permanent or habitual quality. I suppose the people who wrote the news bulletins wanted to make it clear that the existence of the conclave was not a secret. But that is not how secret would be used. After all, we benefit from the secret ballot in Britain, but it is not the holding of the
Remembering the horror of Rwanda’s genocide
Rwanda It had been more than 30 years, yet I recognised the church and its surroundings instantly. Superimposed on the tidy green sward of today, I recalled the rags, shoes and corpses I saw here in May 1994. There are gaps in my memories of Rwanda. But the parts I do recall are explosively vivid, as if branded on my retina, like those people outside the church. They’d lost heads and limbs and every-body was dead, but the scene was alive. I could see and hear their last moments. A woman lay in my path, on her back with her gingham skirt hitched up around her thighs. Not much flesh
Man and machine
The other day, a top computer chess engine demolished the world no. 2 Hikaru Nakamura in a series of online blitz games by a 14-2 margin. Nothing unusual in that; computers have played at superhuman levels for decades now, to the point where scoring two points out of 16 counts as an achievement. But those games were also played with knight odds for Nakamura! His opponent, an online chess-playing bot named ‘LeelaKnightOdds’, has been specially tuned to play with a knight missing from the start position. It was adapted from ‘Leela Chess Zero’ (aka LCZero), an open source project based on the ideas behind the AlphaZero engine described in papers
No. 850
White to play and draw. The conclusion of an endgame study composed by Frédéric Lazard in 1946. Which move allows White to salvage a draw from this position? Email answers to chess@spectator.co.uk by Monday 19 May. There is a prize of a £20 John Lewis voucher for the first correct answer out of a hat. Please include a postal address and allow six weeks for prize delivery. Last week’s solution 1 Qxc8+! and Tal resigned because 1…Bxc8 2 Re8 is mate Last week’s winner Robert Fortune, Barnet, London N12
Spectator Competition: That’s your cue
Competition 3399 called for a traditional bedtime story updated for the 21st century.We’re tight on space, so I’ll pause just to give a special mention to Ross Haggart before awarding the £25 vouchers to those below. ‘The sky is falling!’ cried Chicken-Licken. Ducky-Lucky, thinking this might be fake news, waddled off to do some fact-checking. But Henny-Penny had reliable information from Humpy-Trumpy and Q-Anonny on ticky-tocky that Crooked Hillary-Clillary, helped by five gee-gees all the way from China, was planning to bring down the sky, in order to distract from her other naughty conspiracies. Goosey-Loosey was very kind. She felt that Chicken-Licken needed help. ‘How are you really?’ she asked
Bridge | 17 May 2025
Let’s face it, part-score contracts can be a bit of a yawn. When browsing through bridge books or bulletins, I always skim over part-scores to read about games and slams – that’s when my adrenalin gets going. And I must admit, it’s the same at the table: the higher the contract, the more alive I feel. Big mistake! After all, whether you’re playing pairs or teams, a single IMP can spell victory or defeat. Part-scores deserve our sweat and blood too. l was reminded of this (and gave myself a salutary kicking) while reading Marc Smith’s fascinating interview with the Polish star Michal Klukowski. At just 28, Michal is widely
2703: Eeeesy does it
The unclued lights share a common feature, while two trios from among the clued Down solutions do so to a lesser extent. Ignore an acute accent. Across 1 Give confidence when not at sea, reportedly (6) 7 Tolerated, having cut through undergrowth and fouled (6) 13 River horse, so to speak (5) 16 County not right accepting vice inspection (6) 21 This girl lost her head during nuclear power plant disaster (6) 22 Variety of sandstone produces vintage Merlot, say (3,3) 24 Tinted visor certainly owned during middle of week (8) 26 High point is getting married in a church (4) 27 Ballpoint brand with blue ink cap, for starters
2700: Tracking far north – solution
The unclued lights are stations on the Far North railway line from Inverness to Thurso and Wick. First prize Lesley Gibbons, Twickenham Runners-up Peter Dean, London W8; David Carpenter, Sutton Coldfield
Devilled kidneys: a heavenly breakfast
Iam standing in my kitchen preparing kidneys for devilling. Snipping their white cores away piece by piece until they come free and I’m left with just the wibbly, burgundy kidney, ready for their spiced flour, I pause. There is no denying that even fresh raw kidneys can smell a little… challenging. And for one moment I consider skipping the whole thing and just having an unchallenging slice of toast instead. I’m so glad I didn’t. Because once cooked, kidneys are not challenging at all: they’re luscious and tender, with an earthy, gamey flavour which is almost compulsive. That robustness is actually their strength: kidneys can take bold flavours – feisty
In defence of virgins
If we were really an island of strangers, as Sir Keir Starmer attested this week, then it might be OK. The real problem is that we have to interact with the bastards, so they cease being strangers and start being people who have a function in our lives. The old cliché had it that in the UK you were never more than ten metres from a rat and this is probably still true, except it’s five metres in Birmingham. But it is also true that you are never more than ten metres from a skank. A foreign skank, a British skank, makes no odds. Someone pig-ignorant and witless but possessed,
‘No peens in our pond’: the ‘Pond Terfs’ manning Kenwood ladies’ pond
For a century, Kenwood ladies’ pond on Hampstead Heath in north London had been a haven for women – gay, straight, secular, observant and everything in between. Then in 2019, the City of London Corporation, which manages the bathing pond, issued guidance dictating that trans women could swim there. Suddenly a schism appeared among the regulars: pond Terfs who protested the change vs a mostly younger, right-on cadre who applauded it. Trans women have reportedly been swimming at the ladies’ pond informally for decades, but this was a quiet, largely unacknowledged practice that happened unobtrusively – not a source of division or discord among swimmers. Then came last month’s Supreme
The rich are fleeing – what next?
Keir Starmer is worried about who’s coming into the country. This week, he launched a white paper with the aim of cutting migration. Britain risks becoming an ‘island of strangers’, he said. However, it’s not just arrivals that should give him sleepless nights. It’s the number of people in the departures lounge too. London’s private members’ clubs, top schools, luxury car dealerships and estate agents are all grappling with the same problem: their customers are fleeing the country. Since 2016, almost 30,000 millionaires have left Britain – an outflow unmatched in the developed world. They are either returning home or moving abroad. The reason is a slew of tax changes
Your state pension is a socialist bribe
Every four weeks the government sends me my state pension. Those words have a socialist, almost Soviet, ring. The amount has recently risen to £11,973 a year – a preposterous sum to send a 67-year-old man still in paid employment. But from the state’s point of view, the money is not entirely wasted: it buys a kind of loyalty. Because I accept the money, and do so with a certain pleasure, I am bound into the system and am less likely to say it’s a bad one. I’ve allowed myself to become a dependent. I may criticise the way the welfare state is run and demand improvements in the administration
Shabana Mahmood: ‘There’s still a moment of reckoning to come’ on grooming gangs
Shabana Mahmood may be the only Labour politician to have persuaded Rishi Sunak to vote for her. The former prime minister was in the year above Mahmood when they both studied at Lincoln College, Oxford, in the 1990s. When she ran for JCR president, Sunak pledged his support. Meeting Mahmood in her ministerial office this week, I can understand why. There is a sense of quiet purpose about her that instils confidence. I’m predisposed to sympathise with her more than most because she occupies the post I held for 15 months – Lord Chancellor. It’s the most glamorous and least attractive job in the cabinet. You’re the only minister with
