Society

Wednesday

Jeremy Clarke

The joy of morphine sulphate

Two football friends, brothers, Mick and Pete, came to visit last week. We’ve been going to matches together since 1969, aged 12, in the good old skinhead days when the police enjoyed a punch-up as much as anybody. We used to travel all over the country on Lacey’s Coaches for away games and looked up to the older hooligans as gods. Those dockers were good honest scrappers, kind, fearless and very fun, in an era long before the sociologists or politicians started paying attention or hooligans wore designer jumpers. Mick still goes with Arthur, his son. Me and Pete haven’t been to a game since the team moved to its

Taki

Rupert Murdoch has nothing to fear from me

Harvard man Russell Seitz has sent me an extraordinary present as an object lesson in ‘what a magazine should be in case you start another one’. The paper has yellowed and is dog-eared, pages are falling out and the print is faint. But the Transatlantic Review, Vol. 1, No. 1, dated January 1924, is a joy to behold. Mind you, we were already almost 100 years old when Ford Madox Ford first edited TTR in Paris. And that’s what I told my friend Russell. Anyone who writes for or reads The Spectator is not likely to be impressed by other publications, but this does not include a posturing peacock from

Sam Leith Sam Leith

What does it mean when Giorgia Meloni quotes G.K. Chesterton?

For a UK audience, the most striking moment in the new Italian PM Giorgia Meloni’s victory speech will have been that she anchored its peroration to a quote from G.K. Chesterton. ‘Chesterton wrote, more than a century ago,’ she said, ‘“Fires will be kindled to testify that two and two make four. Swords will be drawn to prove that leaves are green in summer.” That time has arrived. We are ready.’ G.K. Chesterton? The creator of the excellently herbivorous Father Brown mysteries, the Isaac Newton of what we now call ‘cosy crime’? That G.K. Chesterton? The author of a poem, memorised by many a previous generation of English schoolboys, about

Dot Wordsworth

What ‘Budget’ and ‘bilge’ have in common

The Budget (which the revolutionary fiscal act last week was technically not) is directly connected with bilge and with one of the circles of Dante’s Hell, the eighth, which houses the financial fraudsters, speculators, extortionists, counterfeiters and false forecasters. The circle is divided into the ten ditches of Malebolge. The Malebolge, singular bolgia, take their name from Latin malus (‘evil’) and bulga (‘bag’). The early commentator on Dante, Benvenuto da Imola, says that bolgia in Florentine speech means a concave and capacious ditch. In Dante’s Hell inside the Earth, the Malebolge are concentric. Budget also comes from the Latin bulga. We are just about aware of the obsolescent budget meaning

Jenny McCartney Jenny McCartney

There’s a growing sense that tomorrow belongs to Sinn Fein

Where can Ulster Unionism go now? If it were a person, it would be someone in the grip of a long depression, whose occasional bursts of anger mask the fact that they so often feel despondent and betrayed. The widespread reaction to the latest Northern Ireland census, in which Catholics narrowly outnumber Protestants for the first time, is unlikely to give it a reason to be cheerful. A jubilant Michelle O’Neill, the Sinn Fein vice-leader, was quick to claim that ‘historic change is happening across this island’, while other party members called for a referendum on unity. The rallying cry of Sinn Fein has long been ‘Tiocfaidh ár lá’, which

Mary Killen

Dear Mary: How do I get out of a friend’s bad birthday party?

Q. I shall be spending more time in the company of newer acquaintances in the West Country and would appreciate your advice with regard to a resurfacing problem: narcolepsy. The condition is the source of much embarrassment and I find myself at pains to explain it upfront. (People may infer spurious connections due to limited understanding – that is to say ‘narc’ is now much more closely associated with narcissistic tendencies or worse, narcotics.) In anticipation of negative reactions how can I deal with any awkwardness? I am keen to attend social events. – Name withheld, Wimbledon A. Turn your condition to your advantage by arriving with a lightweight, blown-up

Toby Young Toby Young

I’m on Andrew Doyle’s side – for now

I’ve agreed to interview the author and journalist Andrew Doyle about his new book at the Conservative party conference – on stage, no less – so I thought I’d better read it. It’s about the inexorable rise of the social justice warriors, whom he regards as a danger to the survival of free speech and, by extension, the institutions and traditions that our liberal democracy depends on. My first reaction was one of irritation. The book is called The New Puritans: How the Religion of Social Justice Captured the Western World and it’s annoyingly similar to the title of a book I’ve been working on – Salem 2.0:the Return of

Olivia Potts Olivia Potts

The sweet satisfaction of a burnt Cambridge cream

If a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, then a Trinity or Cambridge burnt cream must taste as sweet as its French twin, the crème brûlée. The two cooked custard dishes are essentially identical: an egg yolk-rich baked custard served cold and topped with a layer of hard caramel. Both are similar to the crema Catalana you find throughout Spain (known as ‘crema cremada’ in Catalan cuisine), but Catalana is made with milk rather than cream. It means it is lighter, and tends to have a thinner, paler caramel layer. Lemon or orange zest and a cinnamon stick are often used as flavouring for the Spanish pudding,

Bernard Cornwell

The ups and downs of driving a Tesla

I began the week in Miami, looking forward to what a friend of mine describes as ‘the finest sight in all Florida – the departure lounge’. That is a little unfair; a tour of Cape Canaveral is mind-blowing. But beyond that I confess I find the state brash and gaudy, a fitting place for Donald Trump’s retirement. If indeed the 45th President has retired. No one will be surprised if he runs again, nor if he is re-elected with the help of his Republican party which has been busy restricting voters’ rights and playing origami with constituency boundaries. I doubt he will win the popular vote, but nor does he

Peter Jones

Peta, Lysistrata and the comedy of a sex strike

The German branch of the ‘green’ organisation Peta (‘People for the ethical treatment of animals’) is demanding that, until men stop eating meat – apparently they cause 41 per cent more pollution than female carnivores – women must deny them sex. The same sanction had its origin, of course, in Aristophanes’s comedy Lysistrata (411 bc), staged during the war between Athens and Sparta (431-404 bc), just after Athens had suffered a disastrous defeat in a failed attempt on Sicily. Naturally, an organisation like Peta might well think the play was in earnest. Was not Lysistrata proposing a noble, female-instigated sex-strike, by the women of both sides, to stop a war?

The Spectator

Who was the first monarch to live in Buckingham Palace?

Fit for a king King Charles III, it has been reported, is reluctant to move into Buckingham Palace. Who was the first monarch to live there? – The core of what is now the palace was built as a townhouse, Buckingham House, for the Duke of Buckingham in 1703 and purchased by George III as a home for Queen Charlotte and her children – while he lived at St James’s Palace. – His successor, George IV, started work on enlarging what by then was already called a palace, intending to use it for his own residence. He died before it was complete, however, as did William IV. William IV was

The Spectator

Letters: Britain needs the English National Ballet

Putin’s options Sir: I agree with Paul Wood that Vladimir Putin is on the back foot (‘Cornered’, 24 September). His actions, from partial mobilisation to nuclear threats to the rapid referenda in occupied Ukraine, indicate a psychopathic gambler who hopes that one last spin will turn Lady Fortune his way. However, there is a big gap between ‘losing’ and ‘lost’, and that is where the focus on the nuclear threat by the West is unhelpful and dangerous. As well as the partial mobilisation, Putin ordered in August a 10 per cent increase in the size of the military to more than a million combat troops. Combine this with the ‘economy

The Spectator

Portrait of the week: Chancellor unveils his unBudget, Hilary Mantel dies and corgi prices soar

Home Kwasi Kwarteng, the Chancellor of the Exchequer, presented a far-reaching ‘fiscal event’ (ineligible to be called a Budget), said to have cut more tax than any measure since 1972. The markets’ immediate response was to sell pounds, and sterling fell to $1.07 (though the euro also continued in its own decline against the dollar and the Chinese yuan fell sharply). The Treasury defensively said it would publish proposals for dealing with its debt and the Bank of England said it would buy government bonds to help ‘restore orderly market conditions’. The IMF spoke out, inviting the government to ‘re-evaluate’ its tax changes. The unBudget had reduced the 45 per

Lucy Vickery

Spectator competition winners: children’s stories get the horror treatment

In Competition No. 3268, you were invited to recast an extract from children’s literature in the horror genre. In the forthcoming indie slasher film Winnie-the-Pooh: Bloody and Honey, the seed for this challenge, an unhinged Pooh and Piglet run amok in Hundred Acre Wood, indulging in some eye-gouging and decapitation before gorging themselves on honey. Shudder. I was pleased to see the Cat in the Hat –who has always sent shivers down my spine – pop up several times in the entry. Seuss channellers Chris O’Carroll and Brian Murdoch were unlucky losers, pipped to the post by those below who snaffle £25 each. ‘Nay matey,’ said he; ‘not marooned, but

The Spectator

2572: Blown up – Solution

As suggested by the quotation by John Donne around the perimeter, the other unclued lights were all kinds of trumpets. First prize Ellen Bedford, Sholing, SouthamptonRunners-up Brenda Widger, Bowdon, Cheshire; Martin Joyce, Cumbria

Pabulum

2575: Problem XIII

Singers will know that where ‘Q’ = ‘the number of’: Q34/22A x Q41/39/1D x Q3/8/38 = Q the 14. 41/39/1D is a 7D. 3/8/38 is four words in total. Across 1 Ship transported new preemies (11) 7 Salary drama lecturer forfeited (3) 11 Parrot crosses centre for orris plants (6) 13 A smart criminal and former scholar (7) 15 Hard-up duke ditched rotten rowing boat (5) 17 Smart subaltern’s snazzy sword guard (5) 18 Woman with floor-covering HM adopts (6) 19 Female Irish scholar (4) 21 Garish German brightened unknown Yankee (6) 23 Test out very good new tile (7) 29 Quiet old fellows gradually relax (4,3) 31 Judge with

Luke McShane

The Generation game.

The latest flashpoint in the Carlsen-Niemann saga took place in the sixth round of the preliminaries at the Julius Baer Generation Cup, one of the online events in the Meltwater Champions Chess Tour. Ten days earlier, 19-year-old Hans Niemann had beaten Magnus Carlsen over the board at the Sinquefield Cup. Carlsen’s shock withdrawal from that event got the rumour mill spinning, which only accelerated after Niemann’s admission that he had cheated online at ages 12 and 16, although he insisted that those incidents are behind him. In the Generation Cup, Carlsen made just one move against Niemann before resigning, clearly in protest. After the event Carlsen released a statement, making

Luke McShane

No. 722

Black to play and win. A variation from the game Aronian-Ivanchuk, Julius Baer Generation Cup, September 2022. Ivanchuk could have reached this position, where he can now win at least a knight by force. What should Black’s next move be? Email answers to chess@spectator.co.uk by Monday 3 October. There is a prize of £20 for the first correct answer out of a hat. Please include a postal address and allow six weeks for prize delivery. Last week’s solution 1 Qa6! Then 1…Kxd2 2 Qh6#, or 1…cxd2 2 Qa1# or 1…Kb2 2 Nd3# Last week’s winner Tim Kruger, Aylesbury

Susanna Gross

Bridge | 1 October 2022

A beautiful Greek island; a warm sea; delicious al fresco dinners; and bridge from morning till night with Andrew Robson. Pure fantasy? Actually, it pretty much sums up my past week. I was lucky enough to be invited by Charlie and Carol Skinner to Paxos for seven days of rubber bridge, in honour of our friend Stuart Wheeler, who died two years ago. There were 12 of us, and the stakes were high (£20 per hundred). It is, of course, a huge privilege to play with Andrew, and we all love it. But it’s not without stress. When we partner him, we’re desperate not to let him down. The pressure