Society

Thursday

The Spectator

Letters: Country and town are in this together

End-of-life plans Sir: Charles Moore writes about his neighbour with poor lung function being telephoned about a ‘Do Not Resuscitate’ order (Notes, 18 April). Even today when I discuss end-of-life plans with patients in A&E, many immediately think that medical staff are giving up on them. Nothing could be further from the truth. What are actually called DNA-CPR decisions do not stop treatment for a health condition. What it does is say that if this patient were to die, then chest compressions (which often break ribs) and intubation will in all likelihood not work, and that allowing the natural end of life to occur peacefully is better. Part of the

The Spectator

How many 100th birthday cards does the Queen send?

Multiplying by hundreds The Queen penned a personal 100th birthday message to Captain Tom Moore, who has raised money for NHS charities by walking around his Bedfordshire garden. — The tradition of the monarch sending 100th birthday greetings began with George V in 1917, when he sent out a telegram with the words: ‘His Majesty’s hope that the blessings of good health and prosperity may attend you during the remainder of your days.’ That year he sent out 24 such cards. — By the time Elizabeth II became Queen in 1952 the number had grown to 273. — In 2014 the office which sends out cards on her behalf had

The Spectator

The NHS has been protected – care homes have not

As the NHS was preparing for the Covid onslaught, thousands of hospital patients were discharged to care homes in an attempt to free up beds. This worked: about 40,000 NHS beds are now unoccupied, four times the normal amount for this time of year. Attendance at A&E has halved. Almost half of all intensive care beds with mechanical ventilators lie unused. This is before the seven pop-up Nightingale hospitals, most of which are also empty, are factored in. The NHS was effectively protected in this crisis. Care homes were not. While those in hospital were being given the care one would expect from one of the world’s best-resourced health services,

Rachel Johnson

Rachel Johnson: What I wish I’d said about my brother’s treatment

When the post office and stores closed in our village on Exmoor, my youngest stared out of the car window as we drove past and saw its dreaded ‘Closed’ sign and ‘For sale’ placard outside for the first time. ‘That’s my whole childhood,’ he wailed, ‘GONE.’ As an over-50 who’s had peak everything, I can’t complain — out loud anyway — but I find the losses for younger generations too painful to contemplate. No travel, no parties, no pubs, no clubs, no sport, no sex, no education, a life unlived online for the foreseeable. Given how badly Oliver took that one tiny but vital enterprise shutting up shop, I’ve been

Taki

The night I danced with Ginger Rogers

Gstaad When indolence becomes intolerable, remembrances of things past become a lifesaver. Charles Moore’s Spectator Notes also helps. His recent item about his friend Lady Penn reminded me of events long ago that had slipped my mind because at the time I was under the influence and without sleep. About 20 years ago, the designer Carolina Herrera rang to invite me to a dinner in New York for Prue Penn, who was staying with her and her husband. When I was introduced to Lady Penn, she laughingly told me that we had met before, ten years earlier, ‘when you tried to pick me up at ten in the morning in

Melissa Kite

I’m imposing a one-woman trade embargo on China

Without making any efforts in that direction, I now know all about a certain telecom firm’s future business plans. My neighbours are working from home, loudly, with their kitchen windows open. I want to scream: ‘I can’t turn my ears off, and I don’t have a mute function!’ Call me old-fashioned, but if they continue to corporate grandstand at the tops of their voices during laptop conference calls without specifically telling me that everything I’m hearing is off the record, then I’m treating them as primary source material. ‘Guys, that’s confidential. Our ears only,’ one of them keeps shouting through her kitchen window. Why not close the window, as a

Toby Young Toby Young

Did anyone really believe what my wife wrote about me?

One of the nice things about having a column in The Spectator is that I get a chance to reply to all the smears and lies published about me. Which brings me to my wife’s remarks in last week’s magazine. The editor asked the partners of regular contributors to write a few words on what it’s like living with us during lockdown and Caroline was unbelievably rude. Among other things, she accused me of being a ‘complete hypochondriac’, said the pandemic had sent my anxiety levels ‘through the roof’ and ascribed my own life-and-death battle with the virus to a bout of shingles brought on by the stress. Needless to

Mary Killen

Dear Mary: How do I handle my lockdown guest’s lack of table manners?

Q. I am being driven to distraction by a touchy relation who has responded to the lockdown by WhatsApping me three or four times per day with a succession of YouTube and other video clips, accompanied by messages such as ‘You’ll love this!’ If only that were the case. None of the often lengthy video clips are particularly interesting or entertaining, yet I feel obliged to open them, not least because WhatsApp allows her to see whether or not I have done so. The arrival of each new message from her fills me with dread and exhaustion. How can I stop her from continuing to bombard me without hurting her

Susanna Gross

Bridge | 2 May 2020

I’m aware that this column is in danger of turning into the Alex Hydes fanzine, but after writing about his performance on Janet’s team a couple of weeks ago, I was lucky enough to partner him myself last Saturday. We played in the Young Chelsea cross-IMP pairs tournament — which, incidentally, I hope becomes a regular event, as it’s hugely enjoyable, and a good standard too. Alex Hydes is not just a wonderful mentor; he’s also sheer fun. Everything I enjoy about him as a friend — his maverick, risk-taking personality — is reflected in the way he plays bridge. He brings a psychological edge and fearlessness to the game

Luke McShane

Hovering amid the din

‘I am extraordinarily patient — provided I get my own way in the end’. That’s a disposition fit for a chess player, even if it was Margaret Thatcher who said it. Learning when, and how, to mark time is an essential practical skill, so the classic text Endgame Strategy by Shereshevsky dedicates a whole chapter to the motto ‘Do not hurry’. When I won a 163-move, 7.5-hour game against Nigel Short in 2009, I did feel I had got the hang of it. But it’s so much easier to exercise patience when you have plenty of time, like I did. (Thatcher had it easy too — she was locked in

Luke McShane

No. 602

Nepomniachtchi (lachesisQ)–Andriasian (Zaven_ChessMood), Abu Dhabi Super Blitz, April 2020. White is in danger here. Which move did he play to put the draw beyond doubt? Answers should be emailed to chess@spectator.co.uk by Monday 4 May. There is a prize of £20 for the first correct answer out of a hat. Please include a postal address and allow six weeks for prize delivery. Last week’s solution 1…Rxe5! 2 dxe5 Qg3 and mate follows on g2. Or 2 Nxe5 Qg5! threatens mate and …Nxh3+ to win the Qd2.Last week’s winner Jon Pepper, East Grinstead, West Sussex

Doc

2455: Shadow boxing

The unclued lights (two of two words and one hyphened), individually or as three pairs are of a kind. The red squares, when correctly arranged, reveal an associated name (6,6) which solvers must include when submitting their solution. Across 1 Cut of meat, peas and cole stewed (8)6 Whiteness of church garment at start of ecclesiastical celebration (6)13 Educated woman consumes a dish from India (5)14 Artist speaks, reportedly, to Queen (7)15 Scotsman’s extremely heavy blow (10)20 Bananas and brazils (4)22 Unmarried girls, often distressed, oddly less mad (7)23 Direct approach (4)24 French artist taking tea around one vessel (7)26 Those who are sound asleep? (7)30 Cold meats obtained from

John Lee John Lee

Covid’s metamorphosis: has lockdown made the virus more deadly?

‘Nothing makes sense in biology, except in the light of evolution,’ the splendidly named biologist Theodosius Dobzhansky wrote in 1973. It’s a good rule of thumb. Despite near-miraculous advances in medical science we remain biological beings, subject to biological laws. None is more central to our understanding of disease than evolution. Yet this theory remains poorly understood and poorly utilised in medicine. And an evolutionary perspective raises important questions about the drastic action we have been taking to confront Covid-19. Most doctors are too busy dealing with the day-to-day deluge of cases to have much time for what they may consider abstruse academic ideas. I can see why: it’s hard

Simon Barnes

What Joanna Lumley and two cobras taught me about fist-fighting

Why do we box? It’s an almost ludicrously inefficient form of combat. The last thing the SAS suggests its soldiers to do is put their dooks up. But boxing is nonetheless the world’s leading combat sport — millions watch boxing in lockdown, and when we’re all allowed out, thousands will head first to the pub, then out into the streets and carparks, to throw punches at each other’s heads. Why? I have the answer. It came to me by a combination of Joanna Lumley and a fight I once witnessed between cobras. Boxing is not a great form of combat — not if your aim is to put your opponent

Melanie McDonagh Melanie McDonagh

Scotland’s new ‘hate speech’ rules are a modern blasphemy law

It is 178 years since the last recorded charge of blasphemy in Scotland, against the Edinburgh bookseller Thomas Paterson for ‘exhibiting placards of a profane nature’ in his shop window in 1842. One of those placards announced that ‘Paterson & Co (of the Blasphemy Depot, London)… Beg to acquaint infidels in general and Christians in particular that… [we] will sell all kinds of printed works which are calculated to enlighten, without corrupting — to bring into contempt the demoralising trash our priests palm upon the credulous as divine revelation — and to expose the absurdity of, as well as the horrible effects springing from, the debasing god-idea.’ For good measure

Paul Wood

Never mind 100,000 – should we be aiming for 10 million tests a day?

My friend ‘D’ is an instantly recognisable type in the Middle East: the middleman. He’s always chasing the next deal, always about to make millions. One scheme was to build a London Eye in a flyblown town in the Levant. Another was to buy a ‘Trump sex tape’ for $10 million. He invited me to watch the negotiations. They ended with a sociopathic Russian gangster ringing up in the night threatening to kill my children. ‘We know where you live.’ His latest scheme is to get the British government to buy coronavirus test kits from Turkey. This could be the big score: for biotech companies, testing is a new goldrush. And

Katy Balls Katy Balls

The competitive world of Covid brides

I had planned to spend this Saturday in a large white dress, sipping rosé and cutting into a three-tier rhubarb pavlova. Instead, I’ll be drinking gin on my sofa as family members dial in to offer commiserations to me and my fiancé. I am a Covid bride — one of the many whose weddings have been put on hold because of the lockdown. While the pandemic has had devastating and irreversible effects on people’s lives, it has also left many engaged couples with nowhere to go. In our case, the marriage licence application had been sent, the father of the groom’s slideshow completed, bridesmaids’ dresses finally agreed on (this may

Lucy Vickery

Spectator competition winners: poems about the goats of Llandudno

In Competition No. 3146 you were invited to submit a poem about the goats of Llandudno, who recently ran amok through the Welsh seaside town. It’s not just the caprine brigade who have been broadening their horizons with humankind under lockdown. Racoons have invaded Arkansas State Library, wild boars are roaming the streets of Bergamo and lions lie sparko in the middle of the road in Kruger national park. Maybe, as Frank McDonald suggests in the closing couplet of his delightful, insightful sonnet, there is a message in all this: Perhaps these goats have come that man might see A sign of how his world is going to be. Nick

The Spectator

2452: Comme on dit solution

The paired unclued lights (1D/6, 14/25, 36/32 and 39/1A) are, AS THEY SAY when the title of the puzzle is translated, four French idioms listed in Brewer. First prize Clive West, Old Windsor, BerkshireRunners-up Simon Coxall, Royston, Hertfordshire; Mark Saxon, Stockport

Robin Oakley

What the Queen will miss most in self-isolation

Seven hundred pages of memoir is stretching it a bit even for an ex-inhabitant of No. 10 with David Cameron’s need for self-justification. Halfway through For the Record I was tempted to skip a chapter or two, but then I encountered a passage that made the slog worthwhile. Talking about his relationship with the Queen, her 12th prime minister notes two essentials in preparing for the weekly audience. First check the BBC news headlines because she is always formidably well informed. Second get up to speed on what is happening in the horse-racing world. (He used to check with his bloodstock agent friend Tom Goff whether one of her horses