The Battle for Britain | 7 December 2024
Society
Thursday
The Ginger Rogers theory of information
I had a friend whose approach to entrepreneurialism was to take two separate things that seemed stupidly popular and somehow find a way to combine them. He thought karaoke was ridiculous; his friend thought 24-hour rolling news channels were daft. The two of them created a 24-hour karaoke channel in Asia – and sold it at a sizeable profit. The idea of gynogenic climate change holds that the planet is warming up, but that it is women who are to blame Following this model, I wondered if it might be a useful thought-experiment to contrive political theories which are annoying to people on both the left and the right. The
Dear Mary: How do I avoid my friend’s gropey partner?
Q. I have a dear friend who is in a newish relationship. The partner – whom I hardly know – recently visited my city, asked to stay, and groped me soon after arriving. I would like to maintain my relationship with my friend, but if I invite him for dinner he’ll ask to bring his partner, whom I don’t wish to see. Mary, is there a delicate way to handle this without causing a fuss? — Name and address withheld A. Tell him that you have booked a pedicure for both of you – a one-hour session where you will be seated side-by-side in the salon. This will enable you to
Advent is the season for revelling in fine wine
Crime. Fear not: none of us was planning to break the law, with the possible exception of hate speech. Where that is concerned, how would one start? But we were more concerned with crime and literature, and a fascinating perennial question. What is the distinction between crime fiction and novels? In the 1990s, I introduced one of the loveliest girls of the age to the delights of proper wine Crime and Punishment: no problem. So what about The Moonstone? There are very many supposed novels which I would rather read. Moving nearer our own day, we have Dorothy Sayers or P.D. James. More recently, Reginald Hill, Susan Hill and Ian
Is it wrong to refer to someone as ‘that’?
‘Har-!’ exclaimed my husband, ‘Har-! Har-!’ It is not easy to exclaim the syllable har– without sounding like a walrus, and I can’t say that he succeeded. But he was not wrong. I had read out to him a letter from a reader in Hertfordshire and I had pronounced the t in the county. One can’t exactly say that to do so is incorrect. Daniel Jones’s English Pronouncing Dictionary (1974) gives it with the t silent; but then The Place-Names of Hertfordshire (1938) gives it with the t pronounced. In My Fair Lady, Rex Harrison, singing after a fashion The Rain in Spain, sounds the t. But what did he
In Mumbai, everyone asks about Rishi and Boris
Mumbai is my kind of town, a party town. In my first weeks living here, I was out most nights with new friends half my age, inevitably resulting in many unproductive mornings. This culminated with me waking from my slumber as the sun rose, contorted uncomfortably on the back seat of an auto-rickshaw parked on the edge of a slum under the hostile gaze of an unimpressed cheroot-smoking driver. I was so inexplicably far north of my south Bombay apartment that it took me two hours to get home, which in itself was no mean achievement given my wallet was empty of cash and my phone battery dead. Still, in
The origin of The Spectator’s Parliamentarian of the Year Awards
Forty years ago, a whisky company, Highland Park, which advertised its Famous Grouse in The Spectator, approached us with a sponsorship offer. It wanted a debating competition to gain attention among ‘opinion-formers’. I had just become the editor, and was interested, but thought that debating was already covered by rivals (e.g. the Observer Mace). How about awards for politicians, I suggested. That might get their attention. Obviously, the thing would work only if it were politically neutral, so the awards must be for parliamentary achievement alone, regardless of party. Highland Park liked this idea of crowding a chunk of what business likes to call ‘UK plc’ into one room. The
World war twee: the hideous triviality of our times
I remember the moment I first understood that we, the British, had a national character. It was in the mid-1970s and my family and I were watching a clip from an American TV show which was being shown to us by ITV for a giggle. It was a celebration of the love between mothers and daughters. A hyper-glamorous mother walked down a marble stairway on the left, her young daughter descended an identical stair to the right, and they met at a gently tinkling plastic fountain. Over the soothing sound of the water they took it in turns to stare gooily into each other’s eyes and emote. The daughter lisped
Wuhan wager: the $400 ‘bio bet’ that predicted the pandemic
At the end of this month, one of the world’s most renowned scientists will send $400 to a charity to settle a wager with another of the world’s most renowned scientists. We don’t yet know who will win, but it is likely to be the wrong person, in my view. The money will probably come from Cambridge, England, not Cambridge, Massachusetts. Rees thinks if the tragedy of Covid has an identified ‘villain’ it would aggravate tense US-China relations The two scientists involved are Lord (Martin) Rees, the Astronomer Royal and former president of the Royal Society, of Cambridge University, and Steven Pinker, the Harvard linguist, neuroscientist and author of many
Labour’s confidence tricks
There is nothing new, nor necessarily fatal, about making a poor start in government. Margaret Thatcher had a torrid first couple of years in office, set back by galloping inflation and mass unemployment, before she found her direction. Those who assume that Keir Starmer is doomed to be a one-term prime minister thanks to his plunging popularity are speaking too soon. The resignation of Louise Haigh over a historic fraud conviction will swiftly pass. The mini-scandal of freebies accepted by government ministers, which kept Fleet Street occupied over the summer, has already been largely forgotten. Starmer is good at setting targets, rather less good at coming up with any realistic
The BBC vs Gregg Wallace
The last time I took my wife to watch Millwall play a home game, a gentleman a few rows in front of us took grave exception to the behaviour of an opposing player and identified him, very loudly, as the author of The Critique of Pure Reason – repeatedly and with venom. Having vented his spleen, he turned to sit down and caught sight of my wife. An expression of contrition spread across his face and he said to me in a conciliatory tone: ‘I am very sorry for using such language in front of your lovely lady.’ The apology, you will note, was to me, not to my wife.
Portrait of the week: Labour’s ‘plan for change’, falling productivity and 20,000 wolves in the EU
Home The Labour government announced a ‘Plan for Change’ that it refused to call a reset. Sir Chris Wormald was named Cabinet Secretary. In his Guildhall speech at the Lord Mayor’s banquet, Sir Keir Starmer, the Prime Minister, said that ‘the idea that we must choose between our allies, that somehow we’re with either America or Europe, is plain wrong’. He said ‘we must continue to back Ukraine’ against Vladimir Putin as something ‘deeply in our self-interest’. With the arrival of another 122 people on 1 December, more than 20,000 had crossed the Channel in small boats since Labour entered office. A group of about 60 Sri Lankan Tamil asylum-seekers
Ding’s early win
It may sound strange to say that Ding’s win in the first game of his world championship match came as a shock, but it did. His recent form had been shaky and his challenger Gukesh, heavily favoured by pundits, had the advantage of the white pieces. There was every reason to expect Ding to stick to classic match strategy which dictates a ‘safety first’ approach when playing black. Gukesh opened with 1 e4, whereupon Ding usually prefers 1…e5 and plays in a solid, classical style. Instead, his choice of 1…e6 (the French defence) was, I imagine, perceived by Gukesh as a small provocation. It is likely that Ding’s second, the imaginative Hungarian
Chess puzzle
White to play. Adewumi-Shlyakhtenko, New York, November 2024. The dangerous passed pawn on a7 means that White is the side pressing for the win. Which move allowed 14-year-old Tani Adewumi to win the game? Please note that because of the Christmas printing schedule there is no prize for this puzzle. Last week’s solution 1…c3! 2 bxc3 Bh4 traps the white queen Last week’s winner Jeff Aronson, Oxford
Spectator Competition: We can be heroes
In Competition 3378, you were invited to give the full 18th-century, mock-heroic, rhyming-couplets treatment to any trivial recent event. Whether this was applied to news stories or more personal minor tragedies, the standard was remarkably high, with near misses for Alan Millard, Max Ross, Elizabeth Kay, Jasmine Jones and others. It was also striking just how many Spectator readers are impressively knowledgeable fans of I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! The following win £25. As burnish’d russet fruit of spreading trees Burst from their spiny nests across the leas, Heroes were pitched in combat, ever bent On triumph in a momentous world event. For hark! The clash of
2683: Famous last words
Around the perimeter clockwise from square 1 goes a quotation in ODQ minus its last word. This last word suggests the remaining unclued lights, a final example of which (6) must be highlighted in the completed grid. Across 11 Jam is an Asian food (6) 12 US record nut with some bread (6) 15 I’m surprised after soldier deserted tree in Oz (6) 17 Petrol is running around a rock (9) 20 Two newspapers probing rotten thief’s birthday (8) 21 Question about mince pie resembling dairy product (6) 23 Card player, for instance, in film (4) 26 Gnome fixed cutter’s tool (3,3) 28 Latvian regularly ignored after excessive interval (6)
2680: Two of a kind – solution
The two works are THE OLD WIVES’ TALE (1A/8) by ARNOLD (34) Bennett, born in HANLEY(25), and TALKING HEADS (27/36) by ALAN (35) Bennett, born in ARMLEY (17). BENNETT, in the fourth row starting at 16, had to be shaded. First prize Alison Latham, East Wittering, West Sussex Runners-up Stephen Saunders, Midford, Bath Mike Carter, Kirkby Overblow, Harrogate
Wednesday
Marc Guehi has exposed the flaw in football’s Rainbow Laces campaign
Is the Football Association’s Rainbow Laces campaign about inclusivity or not? The FA doesn’t seem to be able to make up its mind. When Crystal Palace captain Marc Guehi wrote ‘I love Jesus’ on his rainbow-coloured armband during his side’s draw against Newcastle United on Saturday, he was ‘reminded’ by the FA that religious messaging on kit is banned. Last night, Guehi called the FA’s bluff by writing another message – ‘Jesus loves you’ – on his armband in Crystal Palace’s game against Ipswich. His messages seem to be a sensible way of taking part in a campaign showing support for inclusion in sport, while expressing his own Christian faith. If the
I’m A Celebrity has been enjoyably dull
The current series of I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! has been a big contrast to the previous two. The 2022 and 2023 camps contained politicians, and they were two particularly hot – in the potato sense – politicians. Matt Hancock and Nigel Farage carried baggage with them into the camp. In Hancock’s case, radioactive baggage. None of that this year. Ant and Dec opined last year that they were a little sick of politicians on the show, and ratings took a small tumble. There was a feeling that Celeb was a place viewers went to escape from the sturm und drang of current affairs, and that it
Masterchef gives me the creeps
Eating porridge with my daughter this morning (me brown sugar; her honey) I was telling her about Ready Brek, and the boy in the advert going to school surrounded by a warm glow. She shushed me: they were talking about porridge on the radio! In fact they were talking about a successor to Ready Brek called Porridge Pot. Someone said it was more like a pudding than a breakfast cereal, and was one of the processed foods adding to the obesity crisis. Masterchef fetishises fine-dining Then a foodie guru came on and told us about the pleasures of real porridge. Obviously I was the choir for her preaching. Or was