Latest from Coffee House

Latest from Coffee House

All the latest analysis of the day's news and stories

Alex Massie

Bastille Day

Never mind the Revolution and all that, celebrate Bastille Day and raise a glass to our French friends and relatives in the company of Serge Gainsbourg. Here’s the second-greatest Frenchman of the twentieth century with Je suis venu te dire que je m’en vais…

Alex Massie

The Crack-Up

Lance Armstrong, shattered, is surrounded by the press after hauling himself to the finish line at Morzine on Sunday. Photo: Spencer Platt/Getty Images When a great champion cracks in the mountains it’s like the moment when a once-mighty battleship is superceded by a new competitor and rendered hideously obsolete. All sports have their moments like this and it’s always poignant even when you never cared for, or even disliked, the champion in question. As is often the case, cycling has an especially brutal way of showing this. It’s final and, like a broken-backed battleship sinking, just a matter of minutes. One minute you’re there, the next you’re not. True, Lance

Alex Massie

The Road to Hell is Paved with Cobblestones

I’m not going to write about the Tour de France every day – just as I won’t about the cricket season as soon as anything interesting or significant happens – but this was a great day in the Tour. Commenting on this post, Ronnie was right to suggest that a stage that involved a few kilometers over the cobblestones posed a risk that someone’s Tour might end today. He was right: Frank Schleck is done. But that, brutally, is a small price for a superb race and, anyway, could have happened absent the pave too. There was a time and not so long ago that the racing in the first

Alex Massie

The Ethics of Cycle-Sadism

Fabian Cancellara is one hell of a bike rider, but Sartacus blundered today. That’s him on the left and in the Yellow Jersey reminding the peloton that they wouldn’t race one another on the approach to the finish of Stage Two yesterday. This is what had happened: it was cold and wet and on the descent of the Stockeu some 30km from Spa there were multiple crashes. Armstrong and Contador both fell. So, most dramatically, did both Schleck Brothers. Conditions were, apparently, made still worse by petrol spilled from a motorbike that had itself fallen. The race was blown apart. Up ahead Sylvain Chavanel cycled on, oblivious to the carnage

The audacity of hope

70 years ago today, Winston Churchill and Charles de Gaulle delivered two of the most important speeches of the 20th Century. Against the odds and common sense, both urged their respective nations to fight on against the tyranny of Nazi Germany. Today is a reminder that France is one of Britain’s oldest and closest allies, a point that the Times expresses this morning. Their words merit revisiting. Here is Churchill’s timeless address: ‘However matters may go in France or with the French Government or with another French Government, we in this island and in the British Empire will never lose our sense of comradeship with the French people. If we

Alex Massie

Are You Smarter than a French Teenager?

The Bac began today with, as is traditional, the philosophy paper. Via Charles Bremner and Art Goldhammer, here are some of the essay questions our French friends had to answer: For the Literature Stream: 1) Does objectivity in history suppose impartiality in the historian? 2) Does language betray thought ? For the Science Stream: 1) Is it absurd to desire the impossible? 2) Are there questions which no science can answer? Well, is it absurd to desire the impossible? Have at it, Spectator readers…

Trans-Atlantic  powwow

I’m in Washington DC at a high-level seminar on trans-Atlantic relations with the “who is who” of Europe and the US, talking about issues of common concern. The Germans are here in force, as are the French, with high-ranking officials speaking about topics like Russia and Iran. Interestingly, the Brits are notable in their absence. It is probably a sign that the British government is still in transition mode, unable to explain any new policies, unready to stake out new positions. Or they may not be bothered with unofficial events such as these given the privileged access they have. But it is worth noticing nonetheless. The event is both off

Alex Massie

A Better Electoral System?

As I say, FPTP is a defensible system and so is STV and so is AV: each brings something useful and each has its drawbacks. But why limit ourselves to these options? From a voters’ point of view I think there’s something to be said for adapting the French system. It’s a majoritarian system that would sit comfortably with British traditions but, importantly, it also allows voters to make a more informed choice. It is also simple. If any candidate wins more than 50% of the vote in their constituency he or she is duly elected after the first round of voting. Something like half of all our constituencies fall

Goodbye world, see you in a few weeks (for a proper EU dust-up)

With plenty of domestic issues to debate, the election campaign promises to see little intrusion from the outside world – barring Russia invading a small neighbouring country, a terrorist attack or another financial meltdown. Nor will Britain say much to the world in the next couple of weeks; ministers will be be represented at international meetings, for example in NATO, by senior officials, and Britain’s diplomats have been told to keep quiet. As soon as the election is over, however, there will be plenty of action. The Cabinet Office is busy planning a quick update of the National Security Strategy, and then will come a slightly longer Security and Defence

Who will be Cathy Ashton’s Sir Humphrey?

The fight for the most powerful job you’ve never heard of is being fought by people who you’ve probably also never heard of. For EU foreign policy “czar” Cathy Ashton has published her plans for Europe’s diplomatic service, which is meant to oversee the EU’s multibillion-pound annual development budget and have a diplomatic staff of about 7,000 people. Her proposals can be found here. The proposals have commentators are split. Dan Smith and Mark Leonard are in favour, but a couple of MEPs have called me expressing their frustration with the plans. European legislators are particularly concerned about the powers given to the Permanent Under-Secretary type figure, the Secretary-General of

Sarkozy, le comeback kid?

David Cameron may be talking about a new relationship with France, but let’s hope the Conservatives do better than Nicolas Sarkozy’s UMP, which suffered a heavy defeat in local and regional elections, with a Socialist-led opposition alliance taking an estimated 52 percent of the vote. This is bad. At least three of President Sarkozy’s enemies have now made a comeback: the French left, the far-right Front National and Dominique de Villepin, who appears to have been buoyed by UMP’s defeat and a new poll that showed the French preferred de Villepin to Sarkozy as UMP leader. It will be interesting to see how Sarkozy copes. Until now, he has not

Entente nouvelle?

Could Britain and France share defence assets? Julian Glover’s column in the Guardian concludes: ‘As for the new carriers, they are, unlike much defence equipment, adaptable and manoeuvrable. They could sail to the rescue in Haiti or feed the hungry in Mogadishu as easily as obliterate Tehran. We should build and deploy the first, and persuade the French (whose own grandiose carrier doesn’t work) to complete and equip the second: a shared fleet for two European nations that have yet to reconcile themselves to their more modest place in the world.’ Politicians on both sides of the Channel speak eagerly of deeper entente. But there is not always a way

Alex Massie

You’ll Never Beat the British Journalist

American readers may (or may not!) be comforted to know that the newspaper responsible for this masterpiece (written, I’m pleased to see, by Andrew Malone) is one of the two most powerful papers in the country. Even by the Daily Mail’s lofty standards, this is a classic, and I’m indebted to John Rentoul for bringing it to my attention. As is his wont he concludes that the answer is – as tends to be case with any headline that ends in a question mark – ‘No’. But surely this shows a sad lack of imagination upon his part? Then again, I’m also pleased to see that Mr Malone was able

Alex Massie

A Case for Scrapping the Joint Strike Fighter?

Photo: Eric Piermont/AFP/Getty Images Cato’s Tad DeHaven and Think Defence each have good posts on the future of the increasingly troubled Joint Strike Fighter. Costs have risen by 50% since 2001 and the plane is already looking like it will be delivered years late. Since the main justification for the JSF was that it was going to control costs this is a problem. The Americans will stick with it, but does that mean we have to? At present we seem to be heading for the worst of all possible worlds. As Think Defence puts it: It does not take a genius to work out that volumes will be reduced and

Future foreign policy

If the Tories win power (still a big “if” these days), William Hague will walk into King Charles Street, be greeted by the FCO’s Permanent Secretary Peter Ricketts, meet his new staff and be briefed on the Office he will lead and the foreign challenges Britain faces. There will be plenty on his plate. Calls from foreign dignitaries, preparations for forthcoming summits, a discussion of key priorities, and suggestions for how to reorganise the machinery of government. There will also be a need to prepare the FCO’s contribution to a cost-cutting exercise.      But there ought to be an early discussion about how the world is changing and the

Alex Massie

Why won’t immigrants assimilate?

Some readers don’t think it’s fair or reasonable for people living in rural areas to talk about immigration. Fair enough, though it’s not as though I’ve always lived in the countryside. Anyway, some country dwellers don’t much like immigrants either. Here’s a note from a Dordogne correspondent: I live in the countryside and have pretty strong views on some immigrants. I’d like some of them to hop back over to the other side of the channel seeing they can’t be bothered to learn French or even be polite enough to say Bonjour (or even Bonn Jaw) when they go into shops etc. l think many of them think they are

Post-election Entene Cordiale?

If there is a strategic thought lurking inside the Tories’ grab bag of foreign policy ideas, it seems to be closer cooperation with France, particularly on defence matters. Should William Hague become Foreign Secretary after the election, he might end up working with a new French counterpart, as rumours persist about Bernard Kouchner’s imminent departure (knowing this, he apparently even floated his own name for the Kabul UN job). A new Parisian counterpart for Hague – for example, the current French Agriculture Minister, Bruno Le Marie – could make a new Entente Cordiale easier. But, even then, would the French be up for closer links with the UK? Angela Merkel

Could Jacques Chirac add to the Chilcot inquiry?

The Iraq inquiry is making the political weather, much more than Gordon Brown expected. By the time of the general election, every key diplomat, soldier and politician involved in the war will have given evidence. But there are people that have played pivotal roles who should be given the chance to put their views across – not about the war as such but about Britain’s diplomatic and war record. I’m thinking of senior US officials, from President Bush down the hiearchy but also then-French President  Jacques Chirac, former UN chief Kofi Annan and so on. I’m not suggesting Sir John Chilcot broaden his inquiry to nor that ‘W’ would come

At least Gordo and Sarko are still friends…

If you’re looking for some sort of light relief after yesterday’s horror-PBR, then can I recommend the joint article by Gordon Brown and Nicolas Sarkozy in today’s Wall Street Journal.  Yep, the two men have put their recent spat behind them, and have cemented their relationship by huddling over a typewriter and bashing out just under 900 words on global financial regulation.  The Entente Cordiale never looked so strong.    Beyond the display of unity, it seems the article’s purpose is to convince the City that the EU’s French finance commissioner won’t blunt our competitive edge.  Hence lines like this: “We recognize the importance to Europe of ensuring that we

Sarko pulls it off

The news that Nicolas Sarkozy has cancelled a proposed flying visit to London, in order to smooth over the fall out from his attack on the City, has got tongues wagging. Adam Boulton reports: ‘It’s claimed Sarkozy asked for this week’s meeting to patch things up. So by implication their (his Westminster sources) argument goes – if it isn’t happening it’s because Brown is snubbing Sarko and not the other way round.’ This line doesn’t convince. According to the Elysee’s diary, Sarkozy is otherwise engaged tomorrow, so the finance cordiale will now take place at…wait for it… the European Council meeting in Brussels next week. Why would Brown give away

Alex Massie

La Main du Match

Photo: Lionel Bonaventure/AFP/Getty Images If there were a World Cup for Being Sanctimonious, Ireland would qualify every time. So, mind you, might Scotland. The aftermath of last night’s match in Paris has been predictably entertaining. One refereeing blunder (though it’s quite pssible the referee was unsighted and so did not, in fact, “bottle” the decision) has provided ample opportunity for cant and humbug. Thus, the Irish demand that the match be replayed. Good idea! Let’s have another go at the 1966 World Cup Final while we’re at it! FAI President John Delaney complains: “There’s a team that should be in the World Cup today and that’s us. We should be

James Forsyth

Why my money is on Balkenende

When it comes to the position of the first European President, the worst thing to be is the frontrunner as Tony Blair found out the other week. As soon as you emerge as the favourite, everyone concentrates on why you might not be suitable for the job. So, I suspect that Herman Van Rompuy, the Belgian PM and current frontrunner, will not end up getting the job. It is hard to see how Britain could accept a candidate who is a federalist and aspires to EU-wide taxes. Also, as a friend who has his ear to the ground on these matters just told me, the rest of Europe will be

Alex Massie

Gainsbourg: Vie Heroique

Oh, this is splendid. Lord knows when it will be released in Britain, but a trip to Paris in the New Year to see this biopic of the great Serge Gainsbourg might be just the ticket. Here’s the trailer: And, for your additional delectation, here’s Serge performing La Chanson de Prévert:

A bit of French stock in play

Describing foreign dignitaries as ‘castrated’ and ‘autistic’ is terribly Gallic. As a rule, British politicians tend not to invoke ‘sensitive conditions’ to aid their critiques and the force of their rhetoric. I can’t imagine Chris Bryant, for instance, describing David Cameron’s euroscepticism as ‘autistic’ – he’d probably even baulk at describing it as ‘political halitosis’, preferring wink-wink, nudge-nudge gags about “cast-iron guarantees”. It is because this expansive sensationalism is so alien to our political culture that Pierre Lellouche’s comments sound so provocative and make Mr Cameron’s ambitions look unrealisable, with Europe seemingly united against him. The intention is to be provocative, but superficially so, because Lellouche’s comments are, of course,

Sarkozy revs up Franco-German motor, leaving Britain behind

Last week, French President Sarkozy spoke to the annual gathering of his country’s ambassadors. Since he came to power, the French leader has used the annual event to welcome his countrymen back from their holidays and garner a few headlines. This year proved no different with an attack on the Iranian regime receiving the most attention. In a powerful line, the French president pointed out: “It is the same leaders in Iran who say that the nuclear programme is peaceful and that the elections were honest. Who can believe them?” He went on to say that he thought tougher sanctions would have to be discussed if Tehran does not change

The race to recovery is looking bad for Brown

Oh dear.  Another blow to Brown’s economic credibility this morning, as France and Germany announce that they’ve come out of recession already.  Both economies grew by 0.3 percent in the second quarter of the year – in contrast to the UK economy, which shrank by 0.8 percent. Whatever the factors behind it, this spells trouble for Brown.  A poor performance in the race to recovery not only calls his management of the economy into question, but it also undermines his anticipated “green shoots strategy”.  The PM will find it hard to brag about our “green shoots” when other countries already have full-grown plants. You can expect the Tories to pounce

Alex Massie

When Bad History Meets Warmongering

I should probably be inured to articles arguing that even though europe endured “two twentieth-century apocalypses that left it depopulated and permanently traumatized” it is wrong for europeans to have drawn any conclusions, or learnt any lessons, from the First and Second World Wars. And yet, I’m afraid, I continue to be irritated by such pieces, not least because they invariably demand that europeans prove their moral seriousness by going to war more frequently, regardless of the cost or even the cause involved. Equally, it’s startling quite how many people never met a war they couldn’t embrace and champion. Michael Oren, historian and prospective Israeli ambassador to Washington, seems to

Alex Massie

Tour de France: Prison Edition

The Giro d’Italia isn’t the only cycling story around right now. Not by a long shot! Consider this: Close to 200 prisoners will cycle around France next month, watched by scores of guards on bicycles, in the first penal version of the Tour de France. The 196 prisoners will cycle in a pack and breakaway sprints will not be allowed. They will be accompanied by 124 guards and prison sports instructors. There will be no ranking, the idea being to foster values like teamwork and effort. “It’s a kind of escape for us, a chance to break away from the daily reality of prison,” said Daniel, a 48-year-old prisoner in

Alex Massie

Petain, de Gaulle and Patriotism

As part of an excellent back-and-forth with Daniel Larison on the question of patritism, Noah Millman asks: Can one hold that both Marsall Petain and General de Gaulle were French patriots? I think the answer to this one has to be “yes.” You can’t hold that both were right, but you can believe that both were acting sincerely out of patriotic motives – that both were doing what they felt was best for France as France. I rather agree with this, but would go further and argue that you can hold that both Petain and de Gaulle were right. That is, if one imagines onself as a Frenchman in the

Alex Massie

France’s Spring

People protest during France’s second nationwide strike in two months, to demand a boost to wages and greater protection form the crisis, on March 19, 2009, in Marseille, southern France. Photo: GERARD JULIEN/AFP/Getty Images It’s springtime which means that even if there weren’t an econmic crisis our friends in France would be taking to the streets. This is as it should be. My one year old godson, I’m pleased to say, is already a veteran of street action, having been wheeled out to protest against proposals for primary school reforms. Even rites of passage happen earlier these days. Anyway, the good news for Sarkozy is that the Socialists are in

Alex Massie

World Gone Mad: French Division

Things you never thought you would see: the French government advising against wine consumption… In the midst of the winter gloom, President Sarkozy’s administration  has chosen this moment to tell its people to stop drinking wine. You are hearing right. The Ministry of Health has issued rules for reducing the risk of cancer and one of the main ones is never drink alcohol.  “The consumption of alcohol, and especially wine, is discouraged,” say guidelines that are drawn from the findings of the National Cancer Institute (INCA). A single glass of wine per day will raise your chance of contracting cancer by up to 168 percent, it says. A you might expect, the

Alex Massie

Marie Antoinette is traduced again

Like King Canute, Marie Antoinette is a much-misunderstood and, generally speaking, a much and unfairly maligned figure. Disappointingly, this time the guilty party is my old boss Iain Martin. For shame. Iain hazards that Peter Mandelson’s suggestion that everyone try and keep their heads in these turbulent times since there is “no value in creating frenzy” is but the latest “Marie Antoinettish” comment from the noble lord. In the first place, Marie Antoinette probably never said “Let them eat cake”. Secondly, if she had she would scarcely have been the first to suggest that the populace switch to brioche in times of shortage. Thirdly, this would have been a perfectly

Alex Massie

Nicolas and Carla

This account of how Nicolas Sarkozy wooed Carla Bruni is both amusing and gruesome. For instance: “My reputation is no worse than yours,” he told her. “I know you well without ever meeting you. I understand everything about you … You make love because no one makes love to you. I know everything about you because I am so much you.” With a hush around the table, Mr Sarkozy promised to be in the front row of a forthcoming Bruni concert. “We will announce our engagement. You will see, we will do better than Marilyn and Kennedy,” he told her. Given how matters ended for Kennedy and Monroe, you would

Alex Massie

France’s Sorry Decline

Photo: Keystone/Getty Images Once upon a time Citroen produced the DS – driven here by Lord Hailsham –  as revolutionary and beautiful a car as anyone has produced in the last 50 years. More importantly, it was cool. So, what better way for the marque to make a statement than by reviving the old DS brand? After all, the success of the new retro-styled Mini Cooper and Fiat’s Cinquecento have shown that there’s a demand for cars that look fun and pay homage to the best of their makers’ histories. So how has Citroen fared? Answer: about as badly as could be imagined. I mean, look at this monstrosity, this