Daddy can’t sleep

‘If you have been affected by any issues raised in this programme…’
‘…not good news — the tests show you could be a man trapped in a man’s body.’
‘We’ve told too many people to bugger off and join the Tories.’
‘Is this kosher?’
‘Santa has considered your letter and has replied with a counter offer.’
‘I’m Black Friday.’
‘The potholes will come in handy for planting trees.’
‘But I’m left-wing.’
‘So you’ll be pleased to know that we’re leaving Corbyn this house…’
‘Has anyone tried looking for the Lost City of Venice?’
‘My Christmas wish list is available to download, and can also be accessed via my website.’
‘Good news. The politicians are subsiding.’
‘Oh hi darling! I’m, er, in Pizza Express.’
‘Of course, it’s a lot better since Amazon…’
‘University campuses are not what they were.’