Us And Them

‘At least Chris Grayling isn’t in charge of the ferry.’
‘Least said, texted, tweeted, retweeted, Instagrammed, posted, uploaded, shared, blogged, vlogged and Snapchatted, soonest mended.’
‘I seek peace, enlightenment and an alternative to the backstop.’
‘I got a tattoo.’
‘I want to stockpile and she wants to declutter.’
‘Haven’t we been punished enough?’
‘On a clear day you can see five county lines drugs rackets.’
‘A bit late for that — they’ve already appointed Nick Clegg.’
‘A woman aged 55 could have painted it.’
‘It’s worried about food shortages.’
‘I need help — I can’t afford truffled gorgonzola and artisan olive sticks.’
‘Evening Bob, how did Dry January go?’
‘We hope there’s a shortage of petrol for bombs.’
‘We’ll pay more attention to you once Brexit is over.’
‘Same again — otherwise known as Plan B.’
‘I love your dress. It makes me look so much younger.’