Door 3

‘I represent Jeremy Corbyn’s new kinder, more respectful politics.’
‘That’s all I am to you, isn’t it — a chocolate substitute.’
‘The child lock is to prevent access to Sats tests.’
‘Death, War — meet Brexit.’
‘This town ain’t big enough for the both of us.’
‘It’s hard not to get carried along by it all!’
‘And then, to make matters worse, you put the apple core in the wrong bin.’
‘Do you ever feel like you’re stuck in a rut?’
‘But surely the cost of my yacht is allowable? I need it to access my offshore accounts.’
‘I refuse to share a platform with you!’
‘Got any red tape?’
‘I’ve called him “Brexit” so that everyone’s afraid of him.’
‘I’ve got obituary writers’ cramp!’
Trump comeback
‘Sorry, we’re going to have to lose the corgis.’
‘Know what I miss? The endless blazing rows over who drinks and who drives.’