Cave 3

‘I hate the way these news websites use clickbait headlines to lure you in.’
‘Please, Dad, can I have a puppy?’
‘It’s another breakthrough for artificial intelligence — it’s learned to take selfies!’
‘It’s a worse record on immigration than the government’s!’
‘What do you mean you want to cut out dairy?’
‘Did you have to buy him toy refugees?’
‘When I was a lad it never occurred to me that we were all absolutely stinking filthy rich.’
‘You do realise that everything you’ve said is a quote from a film.’
‘No, I don’t think we’ve met, but I have abused you on social media.’
‘I’ve got us a TV dinner, followed by a Facebook dinner, followed by a Twitter dinner, followed by a. . . ’
‘Part of the constitution… they’re allowed to make just one smoke signal each.’
‘We all draw crap on our walls but he has to make such a big deal of it!’
Man flu season
‘There’s been a coo.’