Cat 2

‘With which of these would you like to have sex?’
‘That’s me sorted — now let’s go and find something for you.’
‘John and I couldn’t agree on a holiday destination so we’re going to one of my choosing instead.’
‘I remember when you used to hug the trees on our land, Rodney.’
‘No? Really? How absolutely fascinating...just how exactly did you expect me to look?’
‘It was going to be pea green but there was a sale on at Farrow and Ball.’
Alice Through the Selfie
‘So exactly what kind of stem cells did they use in your therapy?’
‘We must do lunch someday.’
‘The property has some unique features: a sunken garden, sunken garden shed, sunken patio…’
‘He always makes sure we get out of the car when he wants a fag.’
‘There’s only one thing for it — give up driving.’
‘Roses are red. Begonias maybe. Hello Hugh Grant. I’m having your baby.’
‘They’ll only eat food the government wants to ban.’
‘Ugh! Have you seen the number of cats on the internet?’
‘Oh great — now nobody’s going to believe this happened.’