More cartoons
Thursday
Drunk 3
Sky 2
‘Axe the programme — none of the so-called “stars” are A-listers.’
Thursday
Erotica
‘Thank you for letting us read Poppy the Woodland Rabbit. Unfortnately, it’s not really our sort of thing’
Goldfish
‘The goldfish wants feeding, dear..’
Bins
Dolls
‘I feel so empty now the children have left.’
Nude
‘When you said you were “doing a nude”, I thought you wanted me to take my clothes off.’
Alarm
‘He was everything I was looking for in a man — which set alarm bells ringing straight away.’
Satnav 3
The outlaw Ned Kelly no longer got lost in the outback now that he had a satnav
Hideous
‘How absolutely hideous — it’ll go perfectly with those shoes I never wear.’
Wax
‘It’s the latest beauty treatment — combined aromatherapy and full-body wax.’
Ed
‘Bring out yer Ed.’
Clegg
‘Oh dear — that sausage I ate is about to do a U-turn.’
Photo
‘That’s the wife or the mistress, I forget which.’
Thursday
carpet
‘My story? I didn’t go with the new carpet’
Bar
‘What do you mean “what’s the problem”? You’ve got a bar in your classroom!’