Magazine
‘I don’t know why we stock that magazine — nobody ever buys it.’
More cartoons
Thursday
Cheesecake
‘One cheesecake, two forks, and a ruler.’
Homeless
‘He pulled himself down by his bootstraps.’
Cluff
Groomed
Hiviz
‘I didn’t know the dress code, so I opted for safety.’
Divorce 3
Thursday
Tennis
‘I heard this grunting and groaning and thought it was the tennis.’
Vote
Mod
‘It’s not surrender, it’s quantitative appeasing.’
Listen
Daleks 3
‘Phwoar! She’s hot.’
Bug
‘Be careful what you say. I think we’re being monitored.’
Ikea
‘Look! Ikea do a round one that sits up to 150 knights, good and true.’
‘Now print your ticket and boarding pass. If you have a 3D printer, print your own aeroplane and don’t bother us again.’
Damascus
‘That blinding light on the road to Damascus — turns out it was a surface-to-air missile.’
Unemployment
‘You’re not entited to a sense of entitlement.’
Snowden
‘Can you keep a secret, Mr Snowden?’
8947601
‘Some more of that genetically modified spinach, please.’
8947561
‘Just going for a leak.’
