Bbc 2
‘We were hoping to adopt, but with my husband working for the BBC we’ve got no chance.’
More cartoons
Thursday
Tv 4
‘Have you tried turning it off and not on again?’
Ppi
Mugged
‘I got mugged on the way here.’
Bond 3
‘I should warn you, Henry has no opinion as to who the best Bond is.’
Doggy
‘I can’t eat it all. Could I have a doggy bag?’
Kickboxing
‘You’re new to kickboxing?’
Snails 2
‘Of course, it was just a shell when I moved in.’
Jungle
‘I’m after some Nadine Dorries repellant.’
Thursday
Reaper
‘I’m not a reaper any more. In the modern NHS, my title is Grim Pathway Co-ordinator.’
Relate
‘OK, Pip and Estella . . . ’
Tv 3
‘Oh, well, if there aren’t any programmes on about policemen chasing scantily clad, drunken fat girls around the centre of Cardiff, I’m off to bed.’
Tories
‘They say that the crew are all hopeless Tories, doomed to spend eternity wittering on about Europe and limits on abortion.’
Coma
‘Let’s see. Coma. Coma. Coma. Coma. Coma. Chameleon.’
Bond 2
‘Fruit juice, shaken not stirred . . . ’
Zoo
‘My mistake — petting zoo is next door along.’
Time
‘We have some time to kill.’