The Etymology Wars

Awful you were christened on the eighth day
with a name that was like any name the christener’s gift.   
Awful you were christened because your acts
were so awfully and obsessively odd
and broke every law of the house.
Who would have known you served another law
that advised your awe-filled dread
of what on earth would happen if you didn’t flick
the switch ten times, or hide the keys?
Who would know you brought to the house
your many awful and unlawful acts
so awfully lawfully, so awfully full of awe?