Spectator poems
From the magazine

The Polar Bear Prime Minister

Christopher James
EXPLORE THE ISSUE 29 November 2025
issue 29 November 2025

He left pawprints in the corridors. 

Attendants followed at a distance, collecting 

his droppings and listening for pronouncements. 

When they saw his tongue lolling, they knew

he was thirsty, pressing forward with a pail. 

Some nights, hectored by matters of the state, 

they would hear him roar in his chambers, 

beat his paws against the walls and 

hanker for the cold, black skies. His speeches 

were fabled: beginning with a growl, building 

to a pitch of fury across the despatch box. 

They set them down in Hansard.   

For counsel, he spoke with the kittiwakes   

and warblers that settled at his window. 

His chancellor was a walrus, who slouched

on the front bench, twitching his whiskers

belching the inflation rate. They were both

on easy terms with the Minister for Fish.  

In winter, they’d find him in Parliament Square,

sprawled on his back, a bulbous angel,

snow-flaked with stars. When he died, they cast

him in iron, and left him on the Fourth Plinth, 

warning us to choose wisely, remember 

ourselves, and risk the ice at our peril.