Football

My lovely, wonderful wife was disconsolate. She went to bed, desolated. This is the problem with people who tune in for six matches every four years. They can’t believe defeat. If she came to Millwall a little more often she would become inured. By a little more often I meant “ever”. Defeat hurts more when you think it can’t happen. I think that’s how twenty million Brits were today. After they’d thrown the beer around for a bit, when reality set in. They can’t believe it. And so it becomes a national tragedy, when really it’s just another game of football lost. The trouble with tragedies is they prevent you

Whether or not England win their World Cup semi-final tonight, one thing is guaranteed: Gary Lineker has plenty to be happy about. The Match of the Day host, who flogs crisps and virtue signals on Twitter when he isn’t on the telly, has topped the BBC’s pay league for the first time. Lineker’s earnings last year of at least £1.75m means that he has overtaken Chris Evans to bag the top spot in taking home licence fee payers’ cash. The last time his earnings were published, Lineker doubled down by suggesting that he could earn more elsewhere. Will he do the same this time? Even if football doesn’t end up coming

At 3pm tomorrow, a thin blue line will be drawn across my living room. My wife will be supporting her motherland, Sweden. I’ll be rooting for my adopted country, England. We’ll have food and drink from both countries on either side – but the question is who gets custody of the kids for those 90 minutes. It’s a harder question than I had thought. Alex, 10, and Dominic, 8, are – in my opinion – as English as Y-fronts and Tizer. Born and bred. They go to an English state primary school, have English friends, but they don’t seem at all torn about wanting England to lose. So I thought

Here is a letter which I sent today to the Russian Embassy. Please keep your fingers crossed for me. To: His Excellency Alexander Vladimirovich Yakovenko Dear Mr Yakovenko, I hope you are well. As you are aware, the World Cup is in progress and both of our sides are doing unexpectedly well in what has been an exciting and extremely enjoyable tournament. You are probably also aware that should England, by some miracle, reach the final, no dignitaries from my country will be present, as would normally be the case. They have effectively boycotted the event. No Prime Minister, no member of the cabinet, no Royals – not even the

Paul Mason wasn’t the only England fan celebrating last night’s World Cup win over Colombia but he is perhaps one of the more surprising. The journalist-turned-left-wing-revolutionary was pictured with St George’s crosses emblazoned on both cheeks taking to the streets of south London. But Mr S. was somewhat surprised to see Mason’s apparent change of heart. After all, this is the same Paul Mason who wrote in the Guardian in 2015: ‘As an English person I would like to declare up front: I do not want to be English’ After being asked to explain this, Paul Mason helpfully clarified on Twitter: Mr S is even more confused than before…

On Monday evening, I watched a man in a smart shirt and trousers put his friend in a headlock while bellowing at the top of his voice. In the central London pub I was in, guttural roars filled the room; the floor shook with people jumping up and down. A few minutes later and a few hundred yards away, people – well, overwhelmingly men – flooded on to Tottenham Court Road to stop the traffic and share their emotions with drivers. They didn’t just hail them from the pavement; they stepped in front of cars until they decided each driver had witnessed enough of their ritual. This happened because Harry

England kick off their World Cup campaign today by putting their faith in youth as they take on Tunisia: Gareth Southgate’s squad have the lowest average age and the fewest caps won of any of the 32 teams at the tournament. Only three of the squad – Gary Cahill, Ashley Young and Jamie Vardy – had even been born when Gazza’s tears captured a nation’s hearts at Italia ’90. Yet while the team’s youth has been the subject of much hype, another factor about this England squad has not captured any headlines: this is the most ethnically diverse squad that England has ever taken to the World Cup. Eleven of the squad

I am all for taking ethical stands, but if you are going to do so it does help to show a little bit of consistency.    Today, Argentina cancelled its World Cup warm-up game against Israel in protest, it seems, at Israel’s occupation of the West Bank.   According to striker Gonzalo Higuain, the players ‘have done the right thing’ in refusing to play – and have been warmly applauded by the Palestinian Football Association. So, the Argentinians will miss out their proposed stop in Israel and proceed directly to the World Cup in, er, Russia.   Yes, Russia, the country which four years ago annexed the territory of another state, Ukraine, and which,