Male health

Help! I’ve got ‘schlong Covid’

One of the difficulties with having difficulties in your gentleman’s area is describing it to your doctor. Saying ‘I’ve got a problem with my willy,’ makes you sound like a five-year-old. ‘Penis’ sounds whiny and American, and everything else sounds like you might be being deliberately rude. I went for ‘I think I’ve got Covid on my cock,’ which I hoped didn’t make me sound like a hypochondriac and was suitably forthright for a man-to-man encounter with one’s GP. ‘OK,’ says a politely interested Dr McCall. ‘What’s precisely wrong with your cock?’ I can’t find any figures for ‘schlong Covid’. There are no studies in the Lancet or online support