Tea shortage
‘Shall I put the kettle on?’
Bernie
Thursday
Thursday
Facemask-to-facemask talks
‘At last we can meet for facemask-to-facemask talks.’
Thursday
Never more than six feet
‘They say you’re never more than six feet away from a chatty rat.’
Thursday
Nothing more embarrassing
‘There’s nothing more embarrassing than an ex prime minister on the make, Cherie.’
Thursday
Is your journey really necessary
‘Is your journey really necessary?’
Thursday
Support from the palace
‘I must admit, I thought I could have had more support from the palace.’
Thursday
I used to read the Guardian
‘No one must ever know I used to read the Guardian.’
When will it be safe to mug someone again
‘When will it be safe to mug someone again?’
Thursday
Oh yes, I’m up early every morning
‘Oh yes, I’m up early every morning breaking the ice.’
Thursday
Give it up for Lent
‘If I was enjoying anything, I could give it up for Lent.’
Noisy people in crowded cinemas
‘I was just remembering how we used to complain about noisy people in crowded cinemas.’
Thursday
Either this or lockdown
‘So it was either this or lockdown.’
Vaccination centre
‘Here we go then. You may just feel a slight euphoria.’
Thursday
Don’t mind Sharon
‘Don’t mind Sharon — she’s doing her mindfulness thing.’
Can we stop watching cat videos
‘Can we stop watching cat videos and do some work, Mum?’
Thursday
Fishermans Arm’s
‘Did I ever tell you of the time I was cast adrift on a sea of paperwork?’
Thursday
We moved to the catchment area
‘We moved to the catchment area of an excellent private tutor...’
Return to home schooling
‘Write an essay entitled “What I didn’t do on my holidays”.’
