Bernie

‘Thank heaven life can at last return to normal.’

‘And order something you won’t enjoy. It’s still too soon.’

‘Don’t throw it away woman, there’s a water shortage!’

Hosepipe ban lifted

‘I bought baby her first booties!’

‘I’m terribly sorry, we’ve had to put a cap on numbers.’

‘Looks like Boris is flying again.’

‘Much longer in this go-slow protest and we’ll miss our cancelled flight.’

‘Next, an anonymous caller who asks: “Can I get monkeypox from groping two men?”’

‘A suitcase? Certainly, Sir. Is it for wine or cash?’

‘The cheaper and less qualified doctor will see you now.’

‘There they go again, three months behind the fashion.’

‘A mosaic has come to light that clearly shows you fiddling while Rome burns.’

‘I say we should invade Taiwan now while the rest of the world is distracted by Wordle.’