Bernie

‘I think you’ll find that you have to marry us because today I’m self-identifying as female.’

Good cop bad cops

‘Do you think Prince Harry will ever go away, or do we just have to learn to live with him?’

‘It might be a bit of fun to you, mate, but to me it’s cultural appropriation.’

‘Each window reveals a new strike.’

‘It’s high time we abolished the lords-a-leaping’

‘Yes, I’m quite sure that Mary and Joseph did not wear “One Love” armbands.’

‘Sorry kids, we’ve had to cut out all treats this year.’

‘I’ll just test your blood pressure.’

‘Your call for unity got a mixed response.’

‘Thank heaven life can at last return to normal.’

‘And order something you won’t enjoy. It’s still too soon.’

‘Don’t throw it away woman, there’s a water shortage!’

Hosepipe ban lifted