Filthy pervert
‘No, you may not give me a lift to the polling station, you filthy pervert,’
Bernie
Thursday
Old-fashioned Conservatives
‘Nice to see there are still some old-fashioned Conservatives in the house.’
Thursday
I have a terrible fear of not flying
‘I have a terrible fear of not flying.’
I’d have a heart attack
‘I’d have a heart attack but have you seen the state of the NHS?’
Thursday
Thursday
No thanks. I’m not sailing P&O
‘No thanks. I’m not sailing P&O.’
Thursday
Thursday
It’s impossible to know what he’ll do next
‘Of course it’s impossible to know what he’ll do next.’
Thursday
Apparently it’s a compliment
‘Apparently it’s a compliment.’
Thursday
Thursday
Offensive label
‘That label could cause offence to a minority.’
Thursday
It’s a cost of living it up crisis
‘It’s a cost of living it up crisis.’
Don’t bother to look cute
‘Don’t bother to look cute — look warm.’
Thursday
Review recent purchase
‘Would you like to review your recent purchase of gold, frankincense and myrrh?’
Christmas is over and I’m introducing new restrictions
‘Christmas is over and I’m introducing new restrictions.’
You can put that party hat away
‘You can put that party hat away, it’s time for the cricket.’
Thursday
We all have to learn to rely less on coal
‘Sorry, but we all have to learn to rely less on coal.’
I am the ghost of variants yet to come
‘I am the ghost of variants yet to come.’
Thursday
I don’t understand the science
‘I don’t understand the science, but apparently it’s safe to snog if you’re not under the mistletoe.’
