Bernie

‘No thanks. I’m not sailing P&O.’

‘Of course it’s impossible to know what he’ll do next.’

‘Apparently it’s a compliment.’

‘That label could cause offence to a minority.’

‘It’s a cost of living it up crisis.’

‘Would you like to review your recent purchase of gold, frankincense and myrrh?’

‘Sorry, but we all have to learn to rely less on coal.’

‘I don’t understand the science, but apparently it’s safe to snog if you’re not under the mistletoe.’

‘How worried should we be about running out of Greek letters?’

‘I can remember when all this was crisps.’

‘Santa won’t agree to this unless you water it down.’