Q. A friend, well known for having a dusty wallet, brought a bottle of champagne to our house. We were pleasantly surprised but, though it looked exactly like a real bottle of Oudinot Epernay, it did not feel quite heavy enough. On closer inspection, we saw that our friend had somehow picked up an empty
Q. My husband, aged 56, mutters constantly that he is not well. He has a variety of symptoms and I suspect hypochondria, yet he will not put his mind (or mine) at rest by making an appointment with a doctor. How can I make this happen? — A.O.T., London SW11 A. The way to make
Q. I understand that a free version of Eton will be opening in a village near Windsor next year. One of my boys is already at School, but for financial reasons I would like to get him moved across if the educational and aspirational standards at Freeton are the same. How do I get his
Q. Having recently relocated to my company’s Russian office, I now report to an uncouth Homo sovieticus. Knowing he’s the product of a society that had no time for so-called ‘bourgeois niceties’, I try not to judge when he slurps or speaks with his mouth full or places his knife and fork away from himself
Q. My husband uses a wheelchair at airports all over the world but I find it very difficult to know when, and how much, to give the kind attendants. One man happily pocketed ten euros at Amsterdam last month, while another (a woman) refused to take anything at all. I believe it is standard to
Q. I worked on the features desk of a newspaper for many years and had a desk in an office with dozens of colleagues around me every day. Now I freelance from home and do not meet any men — let alone other women. Mary, I do not fancy internet dating but what is your
Q. Just before Christmas I ran into a senior executive at a rival firm to the one where I currently work. She asked would I be interested in a job she thought she might have coming up and I said yes. I have heard nothing and I cannot casually inquire when bumping into her as,
Q. I have had the misfortune to have broken my foot and was packed off by my GP to a clinic in Vincent Square for an X-ray. The male receptionist kindly arranged a taxi and gave me £2 when I told him I might be just short of the fare. I assured him that I
From Francis Boulle At a recent speaking engagement at a school fundraiser I had the eerie experience of giving my speech to an auditorium of 300 young men wearing cut-out masks of my face. Whilst the trouble they went to was flattering, it was difficult to remain on message when I couldn’t help but feel
Once again Mary has invited some of her favourite figures in the public eye to submit personal queries for her attention. From Plum Sykes Q. I have always given Christmas presents to all my five siblings and their children. Just to put you in the picture, the presents are at the Ralph Lauren cashmere sweater
Q. I disagree with your advice to A.B. (8 September) about enlisting a restaurant management’s support to go on smoking his cigar despite the displeasure of the nearby patrons. We can assume that they booked in the garden because they liked the fresh air. The etiquette for any cigar smoker has always been to ask
Q. My son attends a drama school and, while I have always encouraged him to be open about his background, I was somewhat alarmed when he reported the following. He was talking to his fellow students about shooting, how much he enjoyed it — his father did it a lot, too, he added. His audience
Q. Even in smart places, waiters have taken my plate away before I have finished, if my head is turned, or they take away a companion’s plate while I am still eating. I recently had a whole slice of beef fillet whipped away whilst I was chatting animatedly away to a fellow guest. How can
Q. Our son goes to a state primary school in west London which in most respects we are very happy with. However, the teachers correct him every time he says ‘what?’ and insist he says ‘pardon?’ instead. The upshot is that he now says ‘pardon?’ even at home. Is there anything we can do? We’re
Q. I live two hours from London so when friends invite me to their book launches it is quite enough of an effort to get up to the capital without then having to find my way to some ‘ironic’ party venue. I recently had to walk ten minutes from the Tube to attend a launch
Q. I cannot help but notice an alarming prevalence of disturbing eating habits among the middle-aged. Being 13 years of age complicates the matter as I feel it is not my place to comment on horrific table manners. I dread those moments when the vile sounds of those enjoying their gluttony penetrate my eardrums and,
Q. I work in a large open-plan office and one of my neighbours is driving me to distraction. She has a number of peculiar habits, but the real source of my ire is that she wears at least eight gold bangles on her right arm which jangle loudly every time she moves. Other people around
Q. Is there a friendly way to cut short a telephone conversation? A certain woman always wants to talk at length even if I am only ringing to confirm that we will meet the next day for lunch. She becomes huffy if I suggest we leave all the catching up till then. — Name withheld,
Q. I sent out email invitations to my forthcoming book launch. After a week, only about half of my A list had replied. Then I found that my spam box was full of acceptances, consigned there by my computer which had failed to recognise the email addresses of PAs, executive secretaries and in one case
Q. My son is 22. He has left Cambridge with a good degree, but also a mullet hairstyle (short and sticking out at the front and sides but long at the back). These are the key years when he could be getting a job and a girlfriend and, without the mullet, he would be exceptionally