Susanna Gross | The Spectator columnists & writers

Bridge | 22 January 2022

Almost everyone has a set of ‘carding’ agreements with their partners to convey information when defending. But I’m always amazed by how many people feel compelled to do so at every turn, broadcasting loudly how many cards they have in each suit, and whether or not they hold an honour. The truth is, the better your opponents, the more they will make use of the information — and the better your partners, the less they need it. I know a couple of professionals who actually ban their clients from giving any signals at all. That was certainly true of the great Rixi Marcus. ‘Don’t give me any signals!’ she would bark at lesser players. ‘After a few tricks I will know what you’ve got better than you know yourself.’ She enjoyed relating this hand, from a Vanderbilt Cup final, as a cautionary tale: South’s 2♣ was strong; 2◆ was a relay.

Bridge | 08 January 2022

We’re all guilty of making silly mistakes at the bridge table and then hurriedly trying to explain them away — but what do you think was the most overused excuse of 2021? The answer has to be…‘Misclick!’ No wonder so few tournaments allow you to request an ‘Undo’ any more: too many players were claiming to have misclicked when they’d probably misplayed. People can still ask for an ‘Undo’ in the bidding, though, and that seems perfectly reasonable. Kibitzing one of the final online tournaments of last year, I saw such an unlikely bid that I immediately assumed it was a misclick — until I saw it was made by my friend Steve Root. Steve can never resist a good ‘psych’, and this one was hilarious to watch (see diagram).

Bridge | 11 December 2021

All the best people play bridge. Stephen Sondheim, who died two weeks ago, was mad about the game. In his memoir Big Deal, the concert pianist and bridge professional Augie Boehm recalls playing with him in a game organised by Alan Truscott, the New York Times’s bridge columnist. Sondheim had at first declined the invitation, fearing the others would be too good for him. As it happened, Truscott and Boehm had recently collaborated on a musical review of bridge songs. When Truscott asked Sondheim if he could send him some lyrics to look at, Sondheim changed his mind about coming. ‘If you have the temerity to send me your lyrics,’ he wrote back, ‘I can summon the nerve to play bridge with you.’ They got a suitable fourth and Sondheim ended up impressing them all.

Bridge | 27 November 2021

Succumbing to your emotions at the bridge table can be fatal. Whatever you’re feeling, get a grip! Easier said than done, of course. I’m usually pretty composed, but last week I felt an inexplicable sense of anxiety while playing on Jonathan Harris’s team. It’s always a privilege to be asked, and I felt acutely embarrassed that my underbidding led to two missed slams. I gave myself a stern talking-to afterwards, but what turned out to be a far better tonic was watching Marusa Gold — a regular on the team — display so beautifully the true importance of holding your nerve. She was South, North was her partner Todor Tiholov: 1♣ was ‘Precision’, showing 16+. 1♠ was game-forcing with 5+ hearts. After setting clubs as trumps and cue-bidding, Marusa bid 4NT keycard — she knew Todor had no keycards, but it was a clever way of making the next step (5♥) to ask for the ♣Q.

Bridge | 13 November 2021

It can’t have been a surprise to anyone who knows him that when Andrew Black — Bertie to his friends — decided to get serious about bridge, he was thinking big. He doesn’t do things by halves. His passion for sports betting led him to co-found the world’s first and largest bet exchange, Betfair, in 2000. His love of horse-racing spurred him on to be a successful owner and breeder; in 2009 he joined forces with the former England footballer Michael Owen to become co-owner of the renowned racing complex Manor House Stables in Cheshire. And then there’s bridge. Over the past few years Bertie and his squad — Team Black — have had an ever-greater impact on the international stage. Last weekend, they capped an outstanding year by winning the English Premier League.

Bridge | 30 October 2021

It was great to be back playing live bridge at the Portland Club last week. I was lucky enough to be invited to one of its first dinners since lockdown, and I’m pleased to say that nothing had changed: a lively supper was followed by brisk and exciting bridge until the small hours, and a terrible but strangely satisfying hangover the next day. I don’t normally drink while playing, but the Portland is one of the most enjoyably relaxed bridge clubs in London. Despite the high stakes, there’s always fun and banter, and certainly never any shouting, blaming or calling for directors. To eschew the very fine wine on offer would be quite against the spirit of the place — that’s my excuse, anyway. As it happens, even if I’d sipped nothing but water I’d have had no real chance of winning, as I ended up playing all evening at the same table as another guest — Andrew Robson, no less.

Bridge | 16 October 2021

The Gold Cup is the most prestigious Open Teams event in Britain, and has been ever since Colonel ‘Pops’ Beasley first held the trophy aloft in 1932. Last weekend’s online final was as thrilling as any I can remember — a neck-and-neck race between Janet de Botton’s team and Tim Leslie’s, with de Botton pulling ahead in the last few boards to win by 20 imps. The players had been battling it out from Saturday morning until Sunday evening with hardly a break. But if they were exhausted they didn’t show it — they fought for every point right up to the end in a terrific display of stamina and concentration. Playing for the de Botton team with five boards to go, Tom Townsend — now on his 123rd hand of the weekend — needed all his wits about him to make 4♥ (see diagram).

Bridge | 02 October 2021

Online bridge has been a lifeline for many players these past 18 months. But not everyone wanted to try it. Now that clubs have reopened, I keep hearing the refrain: ‘Sorry, partner, I’m very rusty.’ It’s true — playing bridge after a long absence isn’t like getting back on a bicycle. You don’t forget how to play, of course, but you become less sharp; the muscles of the brain used for bridge go flabby. I feel it happening after a mere two weeks away, so I can imagine how daunting it is to play for the first time since lockdown. One aspect of the game that doesn’t suffer through lack of practice, however, is imagination. The other week, I partnered Ewa Kater in the Young Chelsea Super League, and she too was full of apologies about being rusty.

Bridge | 18 September 2021

‘Table presence’ is a funny old expression in bridge. You might think it means what it would in any other context — that someone’s presence can be felt; that they command respect or dominate the table. In fact, it means something else altogether: you may be quiet and meek as a mouse, but if you are busy watching your opponents and gathering information from their behaviour, you have table presence. Artur Malinowski, the manager of TGR’s, is someone who has it to a frightening degree. When he’s your opponent, it’s not your cards you need to keep close to your chest, it’s your very thoughts. This hand is from the recent Crockford’s final. North’s 2NT showed both minors. 3♥ asked: 4♥ showed 6–5 and a void. West led the ♠2 (playing 3/5th leads) and Artur (South) captured East’s ♠J with his ♠Q.

Bridge | 4 September 2021

It’s not often that bridge makes headlines, but last week something extraordinary happened. At the online European Qualifier for the 2022 bridge world championships, Italy was boycotted by every other nation. The boycott stemmed from their decision to include Fulvio Fantoni in their team. He and his former partner, Claudio Nunes, were once ranked No. 1 and 2 in the world. But they were found guilty of cheating at the 2014 European Championships by exchanging information through the positioning of their cards, and banned from playing. They later appealed to the Court of Arbitration in Sport, which ruled that the case was not ‘proven’, and the ban was lifted. However, no one in the bridge world doubted their guilt — nor that they had been cheating for years.

Bridge | 21 August 2021

Live bridge is back. It kicked off two weekends ago with Eastbourne’s Swiss Pairs. I went with my friend Ollie Burgess, and although numbers were down, things were as they’d always been: the same familiar faces and scarcely a face mask in sight. But after competing online for so long, it felt strange — like appearing in a documentary about how bridge used to be played in the past, with bidding boxes, Bridgemates and duplicate boards that we slid across the floor to the next table once we’d finished with them. Soon enough, though, the sensation of real cards in our hands began to feel not just normal but pretty wonderful. So did the banter and laughter at the table, and being able to discuss hands between rounds with fellow players, including superstars like Andrew Robson.

Bridge | 7 August 2021

To be a killer bridge player, you need to be aggressive. Many of us are hampered by timidity, especially when it comes to making penalty doubles. All too often, we ignore our instinct to reach for the red card: we dwell on how foolish we’ll look if we’re wrong, and how cross our partner will be. But as Zia Mahmood says: ‘If every contract you double goes down, you’re not doubling enough.’ Zia routinely doubles auctions where the opponents have bid hesitatingly to game. As he sees it, if they’ve both limited their hands, you’re in with a good chance. Moreover, by upping the ante, the added pressure on declarer may cloud his thinking. This hand from a recent rubber bridge game seems to prove his point. West made a crazy gambling double (had he been drinking?), but it did manage to completely stupefy South, who is normally an excellent declarer: West led the ♥6.

Bridge | 24 July 2021

Bridge is a game you can never fully master, which is why it’s so endlessly stimulating. No sooner have you puffed your way up one learning curve than another beckons, harder than the last. Over the past two decades (and more), I’ve read countless bridge books and strived to sharpen my game by every means possible. Like most of us, I’m still far short of where I want to be. Yet it’s only in the past few years that I’ve realised that what matters most — at an advanced level — is not cardplay or defence. No, watch the stars and you’ll soon see: championships are won or lost in the bidding. I’d even say it might be the hardest part of the game — a constant test of your judgment. No amount of practice can prepare you for every type of hand or ensure that you and your partner are always on the same wavelength.

Bridge | 10 July 2021

Top bridge players have a spooky ability to recall thousands of hands, often from many years back. With so many cards stored in their hard drive, perhaps it’s not surprising how forgetful they can be in other areas. I once had dinner with the great Bob Hamman, and after discussing some of his recent bridge hands — he had perfect recall, of course — I asked if I could test his memory for the more personal events in his life. He happily played along. It was even worse than I’d suspected: he struggled to remember the year of his marriage, how he proposed, or where he was when his first child was born — until he suddenly exclaimed, ‘Oh yes! I was in my club. I held the ace of spades, five small hearts…’ I was reminded of this when I saw Gunnar Hallberg recently, and he mentioned that the last time we’d played rubber bridge — this was before the first lockdown — my partner had missed a neat defence.

Bridge | 26 June 2021

On the whole, I’ve enjoyed playing bridge from the comfort of home during lockdown. One regrettable outcome, however, is that I’ve taken up smoking again. Cards and cigarettes just go too well together. Back in the days before smoking was banned indoors, we puffed away so much at TGR’s rubber bridge club that I couldn’t go on anywhere without washing my hair and clothes first —no perfume was strong enough. Even among tournament players, smoking seemed to be encouraged. The England player Patrick Collins told me that he took up smoking in 1970 when first prize in the Torquay Congress was 200 Benson & Hedges. Bridge has so many tense moments that despite having given up for a decade, I instinctively found myself reaching for a cigarette while playing online, and the habit crept back.

Bridge | 12 June 2021

I would never say that bridge is just a game — for many of us, it’s a lifetime’s vocation. However, some players heap too much pressure on themselves; they fret if they’ve had a disturbed night’s sleep or feel a slight sniffle coming on — anything that might impair their focus. They practise breathing techniques, insist on absolute silence at the table, and castigate themselves for the smallest mistake. The effect is often counter-productive; they’d probably do better if they simply lightened up. Someone firmly of this view is the manager of TGR’s rubber bridge club, Artur Malinowski. Whenever his customers are fraught or playing badly, his solution is to offer them a tipple — whatever the time of day, and however high the stakes.

Bridge | 29 May 2021

One of the pleasures of kibitzing online tournaments is that when an intriguing hand comes up, you can flick back and forth to see how different players tackle it. I’m drawn in particular to players whose boldness and imagination always make them highly entertaining to watch — two of whom are Artur Malinowksi and Steve Root. On this deal from last week’s OCBL May Cup, neither of them disappointed. Starting with Steve, who was North. West, Gunnar Hallberg, opened a strong 2♣. East’s 2◆ was a relay, and 3♥ was natural. What lead do you think Steve led against 3NT? You got it — the ♥4! South’s ♥10 won, and back came a heart — one down. Outlandish as it looks, it was a sensational lead — East was likely to have at least five hearts (with four small ones he may not have bid them), and Gunnar obviously held long diamonds.

Bridge | 15 May 2021

I’m not surprised so many scientific studies have shown that bridge staves off dementia: the game provides a constant workout for the memory. It usually takes people years before they can recall how many cards have been played in each suit — and not just how many, but which ones. Honours are easier to keep track of, but the smaller spot cards can be devilishly hard to remember, unless you have a photographic memory. Failing to notice even the most insignificant-looking card can prove costly later on. Playing in a recent Andrew Robson Club duplicate, England international Nevena Senior showed how just vital it is to keep your eyes sharp (she was West). North led the ♥4 to South’s ♥K and Nevena’s ♥A. Nevena played a club to dummy’s ♣K, and one back to her ♣J.

Bridge | 1 May 2021

It was great to see an England team win the hotly contested World Bridge Tour ‘Survivor Cup’ recently. Many congratulations to Tim Leslie, Ollie Burgess, Michael Byrne, Kieran Dyke, Ben Norton and Mike Bell. Of course at that level, it’s not enough to play well — you also need flair. My friend Mike Bell is one of those players whose imagination is always at work. You might not guess it: he seems unshowy, methodical and down-to-earth (apart from his eccentric refusal to wear a jumper or coat whatever the weather). But down the years I’ve often been dazzled by his ability to visualise his opponents’ cards and entice them down the wrong path. Take his defence on this hand (he was North). South led the ♣J to Mike’s ♣A.

Bridge | 17 April 2021

I sometimes get far too intense when I’m playing bridge online. Holed up in my study at home, wearing noise-cancelling headphones, I forbid my children from interrupting and bark angrily if they do. When things go well, I’m elated, but when I make a blunder or suffer bad luck, I feel genuine angst. The other evening, my 13-year-old daughter Milly wandered into my bedroom as I was kibitzing a game. She snuggled up to me for a while and then, assuming I was playing rather than watching, exclaimed: ‘Mum, no offence, but you should play in your pyjamas in bed more often — you’re much more relaxed and always know exactly what to do.’ Kibitzing involves all the fun and none of the pressure — but it’s not true that I always know exactly what to do.

Bridge | 3 April 2021

These days, most tournaments take place either on Bridge Base Online or Realbridge. I far prefer BBO for one reason: privacy. By contrast, Realbridge uses cameras and microphones — meaning you can’t play in your pyjamas, let anyone wander into the room, or shout at the screen when annoyed. Just as bad, you see far more of your opponents than you might want. Recently, I played against a man who was busy chomping on a hamburger, giving us a gory close-up of the inside of his mouth; then there was the woman who must have forgotten her camera was still on between rounds, and gave her a nose a thorough picking. Anyway, I was relieved to be playing on BBO last week in the international Monthly Mixed Teams. I was on Jonathan Harris’s team, which is always fun: Jonathan is a wonderfully supportive captain, and Steve Root, my partner, makes everyone laugh with his witticisms.

Bridge | 20 March 2021

If anyone is going to cause me agonies at the bridge table in front of 800 kibitzers by subjecting me to a rare trump squeeze, I’d rather it was a superstar of the game. Alfredo Versace, linchpin of the Italian team for 20 years, is a multiple European and world champion. Last Thursday, my partner Peter Taylor and I found ourselves battling against him in the semi-finals of an international mixed teams tournament. Our teammates — Catherine Draper and Andrew Woodcock, David Gold and Catherine Seale — had played superbly all week, and we didn’t want to let them down. Then came this hand: West’s 2NT was Jacoby; the rest were cue-bids. Sitting South, I led a heart, partner’s suit. Versace (East) ruffed in hand, then played trumps.

Bridge | 06 March 2021

This is a great time to be a young bridge player. When I took up the game in my twenties, it was decidedly uncool. It was poker’s fuddy-duddy older cousin. But, these days, tournaments are packed with glamorous youngsters having the time of their lives —none more so than the junior squads travelling the world representing their countries. This transformation is largely due to a concerted push by the international bridge community to encourage young talent. No organisation has been more energetic than our own English Bridge Union. And things are looking even brighter now that Claire Robinson has been appointed the new junior liaison officer. One of her first initiatives was a ‘Play with the Experts’ online pairs tournament for our youngest squad, the under-16s.

Bridge | 20 February 2021

In general, I don’t like to play bridge just for fun: I prefer the cut-throat atmosphere of a tournament, or the adrenaline rush of high-stake rubber. But a couple of times a year I meet up with old friends at the card table: there’s lots of banter, too much wine, and the bridge gets sillier as the night wears on. I’ve been sorely missing these evenings, and fondly remembering our three rules: to play quickly, avoid lengthy post-mortems, and abide by ‘Zia’s Law’. This is based on a tip Zia Mahmood gave me long ago. It was obviously a joke, but he swore it worked miracles. It goes like this: if your partner is dealer and there are two passes to you, you should open a spade without looking at your hand. It turns out to be amazingly effective — your opponents seldom know what to do.

Bridge | 6 February 2021

The American professor Martin Seligman is one of the most influential psychologists in the world. Known as the father of ‘positive psychology’, he has written numerous bestselling books on the power of optimism, arguing it’s something that can be learned, can cure depression, boost your immune system, and help you reach your goals. Seligman is also a well-known bridge player. His success at the table is down to two guiding philosophies: first, the importance of hiring professionals to keep improving — he’s not super-wealthy, but, as he says, ‘being a client costs me about as much as others spend on their clothes (I spend almost zero on clothes).’ The second, you’ll have guessed, is to have an attitude of positivity.

Bridge | 23 January 2021

When lockdown began, all those months ago, I remember chatting to a few of England’s top players about the shift to online bridge. They were dubious, to say the least. They didn’t really enjoy it; nor did they think they were much good at it. Other experts shared their concerns. The inferences and clues they picked up face-to-face — their ‘table presence’ — were such a big part of their game; how could online bridge be anything but a pale imitation of the real thing? Roll on a year, and their fears have largely been allayed. The great players have found their form. They can still ‘read’ their opponents and get a feel for the cards; they can be as dazzling onscreen as they are in the flesh. This hand, played by the young American Adam Grossack in a recent ‘Alt’ invitational tournament, is an example of online prowess at its best.

Bridge | 9 January 2021

It’s so much easier to play bridge well when luck is on your side. You’ve just doubled your opponents and collected a huge penalty, or made a grand slam on a finesse — and suddenly you start playing like Helgemo, with sharpened wits and perfect judgment. Luck breeds luck, and you don’t have to be a neuroscientist to figure it out: the brain works significantly better when you’re feeling positive. The converse is also true, of course. Once you’ve had some bad luck or made a silly mistake, everything starts going downhill. Why? Because being demoralised impairs your memory and decision-making skills. The great challenge is to stay positive whatever happens — and that is the mindset of all top players. They approach every hand not with lowered spirits but single-minded determination — even when prospects look dire.

Bridge | 12 December 2020

It’s surprising how quickly we adapt to things: nine months ago, most of us had never played bridge online before, yet it feels almost normal now. One slightly surreal side-effect is the way an older generation of players have begun using text-acronyms with the gusto of teenagers: TY, SY, NP and, if anything remotely funny happens, it’s LOL every time. Actually, some acronyms took me a while to get used to. In my very first online game, my partner typed ‘GLP’ as I was about to play a doubled contract; puzzled, I concluded it was short for gulp. I was slightly insulted that he kept typing ‘gulp’ whenever I was about to play — until the penny dropped; he was wishing me luck. I’d been thrown by the quaint formality of adding P for partner.

Bridge | 28 November 2020

Each November, Paula Leslie organises the Young Chelsea Women’s Teams — a fantastic event, attracting many of Europe’s best players to London. It was a shame it had to be held online this year — but I must say there was something rather magical about competing on ‘Realbridge’ with video streaming and sound. How extraordinary to be playing against women from a range of countries — Poland, Norway, Sweden, Serbia, Denmark, France — and to see them in their own homes, sipping coffee, puffing on cigarettes, even slurping noisily from a bowl of soup (as a nice woman from Wales did). Eight months ago the idea would have seemed outlandish. As usual, I was playing from London. Sitting opposite me — in Ljubljana — was my partner, Barbara Drinovek, whom I met last year through Marusa Gold; we teamed up with Marusa (also in Ljubljana) and Diana Nettleton (Oxford).

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