I warn you this is not my usual rant, they get me into trouble and I’ve promised Jeremy to behave myself. Jeremy and I sat down at the beginning of his campaign for the Labour leadership to discuss what they call the strap line for his campaign leaflets and posters. We came up with the
‘Oh, Pinocchio! All that fuss about becoming a real boy — and now you want to be a girl!’
‘...whereas this one induces mild aggression followed by extreme soporiferousness.’
‘Life is a Cabernet, old chum.’
‘White wine cancelling red wine refers to stains, not breathalysers.’
‘Death by chocolate? Certainly, sir, coming up.’
‘And this little piggy went — actually, you don’t want to know.’
‘Hurry up, woman — the rugby’s on in five minutes!’
‘Control freak.’
‘Is everything OK? You haven’t photographed your food.’
‘I’m afraid Doreen and Frank are going through a bit of a rough patch at the moment.’
‘Tim treated me like a little girl, so I shopped him to the police straight away.’
‘Martin’s mindfulness classes have taught him to be aware of what’s going on in his body.’
Have faith, Nick Sir: Rarely have I read an article as powerful as Nick Cohen’s (‘Why I left’, 19 September). As a lifelong Tory, all I feel qualified to say is that I think I understand. I am certain, however, that Messrs Corbyn, McDonnell et al will soon be consumed by the fire of their
