Beard
‘OK, gentlemen, enough beard envy.’
The Spectator
Thursday
Trojan Horse
‘Isn’t that nice? It’s a gift from the Jehovah’s Witnesses to apologise for being so annoying and pushy earlier today.’
Miliband
Wolf Hall
‘I’ve heard of Hilary Mantel – but who is this Henry VIII?’
Flocking
‘No, this is flocking. Stampeding is on the 29th floor.’
Bamboo
‘So, that’s bamboo, bamboo, bamboo, bamboo, bamboo, bamboo. And for you, Sir?’
Bride
‘You may now sext the bride.’
Down
‘So can I put you down as holding us in slightly less contempt than the others, then?’
Pencil
‘Dad, what’s a pencil?’
Property 2
‘We thought about a conservatory but decided this would add more value to the property.’
Heaven 2
‘I know my expectations of heaven shouldn’t have been so high but this is ridiculous..’
Beans
‘Under present circumstances, a handful of beans for a dairy cow seems like a bargain, Jack.’
Nhs 5
Desert Island
Gentrification
‘This area has recently moved from being a dump to being an expensive dump.’
Spectator letters: Islam and the roots of radicalism
The roots of radicalism Sir: Qanta Ahmed is to be praised for her dissection of Islamism and her call for a reformation of Islam (‘Let there be light’, 17 January). That call has been muted for decades but is now growing louder, and it is right to promote Muslims who see a way forward out
Don’t believe the gloom-mongers: deflation will be good for Britain
Campaigning in Putney in 1978, Mrs Thatcher famously took out a pair of scissors and cut a pound note down the middle, telling her audience that the remaining stump represented what was left of the pound in your pocket after four years of Labour and high inflation. David Cameron may soon be able to repeat
Portrait of the week | 22 January 2015
Home More than 1,100 imams and Islamic leaders received a letter from Eric Pickles, the Communities Secretary, and Lord Ahmad of Wimbledon, the communities minister, saying: ‘We must show our young people, who may be targeted, that extremists have nothing to offer them.’ Imran Khawaja, from Southall, west London, who had posed for a picture
The surprising truth about global inequality
Poor data Oxfam complained of an ‘inequality explosion’, citing an estimate that by next year 1 per cent of the world’s population will own half the wealth, but little other evidence. Is global inequality really growing, and does it matter? — There have been few estimates of global inequality in income and wealth, but one