Champagne
‘Oh my God! Is this socialist champagne?’
The Spectator
Thursday
Shooter
‘OK, buddy, I’m arresting you for impersonating a police officer.’
Labels
‘I like to hang my washing so that the neighbours can read the labels.’
Smartphone
‘I’m sorry, Mrs Bell, but I’m afraid your son just isn’t very smart.’
Transformer
‘I don’t know which is the real me any more.’
Bank 5
Younger
‘Wow, look at that! If only I were two hours younger!’
Reasons for Ed Miliband to be cheerful (we had to stretch a bit)
Election omens Reasons for Ed Miliband to feel confident in 2015: — Only three parliaments since 1945 have run to their full five-year term. The subsequent general elections, in 1964, 1997 and 2010, all resulted in a change of government. But John Major did hold on in 1992, having gone to the country four years and
Letters: Why Ofsted should be disbanded
Disband Ofsted Sir: Dennis Sewell’s damning indictment of Ofsted (‘Ofsted in the dock’, 13 December) stopped short of the logical conclusion of disbanding it, arguing instead that the chief inspector, Sir Michael Wilshaw, should be supported in his efforts to purge inspectors promoting the progressive educational agenda that the coalition inherited. We’ve been here before.
What David Cameron must do to win (properly this time)
Almost exactly five years ago, the Conservatives fired the starting gun for a general election — and shot themselves in the foot. ‘We can’t go on like this,’ said the poster, next to a picture of an airbrushed David Cameron. ‘I’ll cut the deficit, not the NHS.’ What on earth did it mean? No one
Portrait of the week | 1 January 2015
Home King’s Cross railway station was out of operation, stranding thousands, and Paddington saw badly delayed services after Network Rail engineering works overran beyond Christmas and Boxing Day. Connection with the internet for Xbox and PlayStation games consoles was disabled on Christmas Day and a group of hackers called Lizard Squad said it had interfered.
The Spectator at war: Taking stock
From ‘The War and the New Year‘, The Spectator, 2 January 1915: THOUGH the corning of the New Year makes, and could make, no difference at the front, it does present a convenient opportunity for taking stock of the military situation. The year 1915 finds the Allies and their enemies in a condition approaching stalemate.
From the archives | 1 January 2015
From ‘News of the Week’, The Spectator, 2 January 1915: The first German aeroplanes which have visited us since the beginning of the war appeared on Thursday and Friday of last week. On Thursday week, about eleven o’clock in the morning, an aeroplane circled over Dover and dropped a bomb, which fell in a garden
Wednesday
The date when Julie Burchill really was made of money, and Richard Madeley’s unfortunately timed break-up
Julie Burchill I’ve never really been on a date – I got with my first husband as a teenager, then married two further men one after the other. But in the very early days of courting my husband Dan (who is thirteen years younger than me) I was very keen to appear the worldly 35-year-old
The Spectator at war: Christmas indulgence
From ‘The Great Improvisation’, The Spectator, 2 January 1915: Though we fully recognize that praise is dangerous, we must at Christmastide indulge ourselves with a little praise of the British people, or rather of the British Army, for that part of the British nation which really deserves praise is in the Army. Once again, what
Sunday
The Spectator at war: Egypt and her future
From The Spectator, 26 December 1914: Egypt, as the Royal Proclamation in effect, if not in word, shows, has passed into the British Empire. She is as much a part of it as any of the Feudatory States of India. Technically we have not annexed Egypt, nor do we desire to do so, since we
Saturday
The Spectator at war: An inquest upon German outrages
From ‘An Inquest Upon German Outrages’, The Spectator, 26 December 1914: It has already been announced in the Press that English. barristers have for some time past, under instructions from the Home Office, been investigating specific state- ments with regard to alleged atrocities. The witnesses have been subjected to a careful examination, and their evidence
Friday
The Spectator at war: Consent and violation
From The Spectator, 26 December 1914: We notice in criticisms of Sir James Barrie’s new play Der Tag, that the author represents the German Emperor as hesitating till the last moment about consenting to the violation of Belgian territory. The assumption that the German Emperor wanted peace up to the end is not perhaps capable
Thursday
“The shadow of contemporary Herods”- full text of the Pope’s Christmas Message 2014
Dear Brothers and Sisters: Happy Christmas! Jesus, the Son of God, the Savior of the world, is born for us, born in Bethlehem of a Virgin, fulfilling the ancient prophecies. The Virgin’s name is Mary, the wife of Joseph. Humble people, full of hope in the goodness of God, are those who welcome Jesus and
The Spectator at war: The vantage point of peace
From The Spectator, 26 December 1914: WE are not going to write a Christmas article on palm boughs and olive branches and the Angel of Peace. Not only is there no peace in sight for the world at the moment, but any talk of peace before our enemies are beaten, or even half beaten, and